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(Scene: Big sis comes back from school and joins Mum at dining table. Lil Sis has stayed back for basketball coaching and will come home after 2 hours.)
Mum: So I have some good news and some bad news.
(Big Sis looks on, curious.)
Mum: Good news, I’ve got tickets for the Beauty and the Beast. Bad news, there are only 2 tickets
Big Sis: So you won’t go? (feeling bad for Mum)
Mum: No young lady, I HAVE to go. This is work for me. One ticket is mine
Big Sis: Then?
Mum: Yup, that’s what I’ve been thinking about all day. I guess I’ll just have to pick a favourite.
(Big Sis looks on unsure)
Mum: Or we could have a contest and the winner could come with me. You know, a good behaviour contest. I’ll give stars for tasks done and all, like we used to when you were little.
Big Sis: Oh c’mom Mamma, you know that stuff never worked. But why can’t we get another ticket?
(long explanation about how limited tickets are available and everyone has to make do with just 2 and how Shavet aunty has been trying for days to get more, but that’s not happening)
Big sis: But that’s not fair!!
Mum: Not fair? I can’t think of anything more fair. Whoever wins gets to go! There’s no way I can choose between you two, THAT would be unfair.
Big Sis: But how can you take just one of us? You must be joking Mamma. Let me check with Shavet Aunty.
(Takes Mum’s phone, types out a long message on WhatsApp, giggling all the while, threatens to send it and then chickens out and deletes it. The “Not fair” refrain continues for a while, actually for two hours, till Lil Sis walks in.)
Big Sis: (speed talking) Y’know Mamma has two tickets for Beauty and the Beast and she can only take one of us and she’s going to have a contest for both of us and whoever wins will go!!!
Lil Sis: What kind of contest…not spelling please!
Mum: (Amused at the key point picked up by Lil Sis) No, no, don’t worry. No spellings. I was thinking more of a good behaviour kind of thing? Stars for chores done, that kind of stuff?
Lil Sis: (Groans) You can’t do that! And anyway whoever wins will feel bad that the other one is not going.
Mum: Really? But you’re both always fighting so much. Will it bother you if the other person gets left out?
Big Sis and Lil Sis: (in a rare display of sisterly love): Ya, Mamma, of course.
Mum: Well, what’s the option, there’s just one ticket. Try it out, it’s only a matter of two days. Just eat well, do your school stuff without a thousand reminders and go to bed on time! Is that too much to ask?
Lil Sis: (more groans) You just go ahead and take her. I can’t be so good!
Mum: You don’t even want to try?
(More discussions about why we cannot get another ticket. Big sis tells her about the message she was planning to send Shavet Aunty. Lil Sis has much fewer boundaries and quickly types out a message and sends it)
Message: “Hi Aunty can you pls give us three tickets. (Big sis) and Me both want to go. Mamma is making us do stuff. Pls give an extra ticket (crying emojis)
(Phone rings almost instantly, incoming call from an obviously worried Shavet. Lil sis grabs the phone.)
Lil Sis: (extra sweetly) Hi Aunty, this is (Lil sis). Aunty do you have another ticket? ……Ohhh…..okayyyy………… (sounding disappointed but still extra sweet) ohhhh………yaaaa………..awww, that’s ok. Here, talk to Mamma……”
Mum reassures (a very worried but extremely amused) Shavet that no torture of any kind is taking place and we were just discussing a fair, clean competition!
Big Sis: (after much thinking) Mamma, I think you’ll just have to take me. There’s no way Lil Sis is going to behave.
(Mum somehow keeps a straight face despite a deep laugh gurgling in her stomach threatening to erupt without warning. The “Not fair” refrain continues, this time accompanied by groans and moans about good behaviour till Father gets home and reveals he has some tickets as well and we will ALL be going. Mum allows the deep laugh to surface and ROFLs for a bit till the two indignant little girls calm down and join in the laughs.)
Big Sis: (to Mum) Now I expect you’ll blog about this!!
(Now, that's stating the obvious. Isnt it?)