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When I was just a little girl, I listened to fairy tales with Prince Charming kissing princesses to life, rescuing them out of their forlorn lives and Knights in Shining Armour saving them from dragons..
(You are not strong, a man will save you they said..)
…The #womaninme whispered “ No , you are stronger.”
As I started to hear mythology, I saw the Sati Savitri’s and Sita’s and Draupadis
(You will a symbol of sacrifice and devotion, ready to be sacrificed at the of altar man’s ego . Sure we had the Durga and Kali, but even the Goddess Laxmi sat at Vishnu’s feet.)
…The #womaninme whispered “ No , you are not a Goddess, just be a good human being with self -respect..”
Sit with your legs together, Don’t wear shorts, Hair..so short..like a boy?
You are a rebel. Behave like a good girl
…The #womaninme whispered “Let it go. You don’t need to prove anything”
No, you can’t go abroad to study on your own. First get married, then do what you want.
(You have to get married in the right time. Education can be delayed)
…The #womaninme whispered “You are smart. You can do it if you persevere”
Arre! What has your mother taught you? Can’t even cook the vegetables properly?
(Never mind that you are as educated as my son and the fact that your son can’t make a coffee doesn’t matter. If you can’t cook , you are not a great wife…and that is ofcourse, another woman’s fault!)
…The #womaninme whispered “You have learnt Seismic Analysis. Whatz the big deal about cooking. Just master it”
I got a new job in a new city. It is a great opportunity
(And we are going to move. You are newly married, it’s important to stay together!)
….The #womaninme whispered “You can get remote work or may be a new job. This is a lifelong bond”
Two years and no kids yet. This woman is too career minded..must be doing some planning..
(Trying to plan your career is selfish. Your primary job after marriage is to produce kids to prove you are a woman)
…The #womaninme whispered “You are close to that next promotion indeed..but your biological clock is ticking. May be you can get flexible hours and work from home?”
Oh..a daughter?.. Never mind , the next may be a son. He will carry forward my family name.
(Really?.. who will produce that son?....a woman ...are you even thinking straight?)
…The #womaninme whispered “Go ahead. Raise your daughter in a way that the world will remember her name!”
Wow! A son.. Good now your family is complete!
(And what if I had a daughter next, my family would be incomplete because….????)
…The #womaninme whispered “Thank God it is a healthy baby. Now treat him just the same as your daughter.”
“Mother’s love.. its sacred!” “You are on a break?.. Good! Only a mother can know what the baby wants!
(Yes, because she is sitting by the baby’s side ..day and night. If the father, or the nanny did it, they would know too!!)
…The #womaninme whispered “Oh Come on.. Take in this pure unadulterated bundle of joy. He will grow up so soon”
Its my son’s annual day. I need to take a couple of hours off; My daughter has to get her shots..need the afternoon off.
(That means you will work late in the night. And again have a tough time scrambling up in the morning at 5 am to make those lunch boxes)
…The #womaninme whispered “Oh you are a superwoman. You can stretch yourself.”
“Mama..my box is missing!” “Did you buy that green crepe paper for my project?”
Yes, a mother can find anything even if she if it is asked at 11pm in the night. I was glad to be there for them, and yes..let me teach them more independence and discipline!
…The #womaninme?..she was too busy juggling a home, two kids and a part time job to even whisper!
“Look mama! I have come first in this book review contest. I am going to be an writer”..said the daughter
…The #womaninme brightened.
She started to blog. Her blogs became popular. She had found a way to manage to actually have friends. She had some pocket money! She was appreciated!! She was free..liberated..happy.
For once, the #womaninme just gave a lovely radiant smile. There was nothing to adjust to, nothing to rationalize, nothing to do because of her role as a daughter/mother/wife/daughter-in-law. She was for once, her true self..just the woman she was!
This article is dedicated to all women..whose lives go through such significant changes and challenges in their demanding roles yet they relish it all!
In specific, to my fellow bloggers who know what I mean :) ! HAPPY WOMEN’S DAY!