Many siblings have very different personalities. But to researchers, this is a mystery. Siblings share *same genes and environment. Why are they so different, then?
How is it that parents give their kids the *same genes, the same degree of discipline, and the same guidance, yet they turn out so differently?
Now the mystery is how can two kids be so different, even though they share *same genes. Influence of people, environment, and their choices all play a role when they are growing up.
Siblings are usually in different grades at school and have different friends. School and friends have a great effect on a child's behavior. Siblings can experience and attain milestones at different times, and under other different circumstances.
Siblings also don't even have all of the same life experiences, my brother broke his leg as a child and I never broke a bone. My sister was always very social and extrovert but I was a shy child and we are just one year apart. These are small examples but I am sure everyone will agree with me on these. I am sure, you all can relate to these examples in your families too. Mostly, out of two siblings, both will have completely different personalities.
Now, after few years of motherhood, I can see two completely different kids in my house which amaze me that despite sharing the genes of the same mother and father, the dissimilarities are so evident.
My elder one was always a very happy child, social, well mannered, and often i would get,' “What a great mother you must be.” These are common comments I’d get years ago when I was raising my elder one. She was 3 years old when me and my DH were confident that we were ready for a second child, mainly as our elder one was one of those perfect babies. I would say she spoilt us as parents and we thought parenting is easy as pie as she never bothered us with anything. Some of our friends used to complain that their child will not either sleep,or eat or is not talking properly etc. So, when my younger one was born, without thinking we expected the similar sleeping patterns and eating habits.
My younger one is completely different, restless, cannot sit at one place for a long time, over active, and always in a hurry to finish her work. In one word, Drama-queen who always have to have all the attention :)
Sometimes, we feel she is a baby and sometimes her answers amaze us. Once outside a Hamleys toy store, all the kids were hugging a Hamleys big bear standing there and when my DH asked her,"Do you want to hug the bear too? Her reply was,"No! You know who is inside dad. I am a big girl now and not a baby anymore!"
She likes dressing up and trying different clothes and would reject my choices saying,''Mom, you can't wear pink with pink..that is boring, we should try green with pink". On the other hand,my elder one was completely different at this age. Never bothered about clothes or accessories.
But, I believe that every child is beautiful and every child is different. I read somewhere that kids are like snowflakes, each beautiful but uniquely different. "Just as no two snowflakes are the same there are no two children exactly the same."
I appreciate that my elder one is responsible and down to earth. And, likewise, I appreciate that my younger one is smart and intelligent. No matter their differences, I consider myself a lucky mom.
I find it truly fascinating. At the same time, I recognize the importance of appreciating each child's uniqueness.
Never compare two kids. Dont say things like, "Why can't you be more like your sister or brother?" This way they will learn that life is only about competition.
We should celebrate their differences. We should not burden them with our expectations. Every child is different. We should focus on the strengths in every single child, rather than looking at what is missing.
As parents we want happy and healthy kids, so, it is very important to make them feel important and special instead of comparing them with others.
*Science may or may not state that the siblings share the same set of genes but as a mum the kids are born from the same womb and yet so different.