Dear husband I too feel tired now!!
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|   May 06, 2017
Dear husband I too feel tired now!!

Tina had finally managed to retire to her room for the day...her feet were aching badly and she had no energy left to even change and get a little freshened up...it was 11:30 at night and from 6 in the morning, almost 18 hours of standing and working continuously had lead to this exhaustion....she had taken out a pain relieving ointment and started applying it on her feet....she was no more a person that she used to be a few years back. Age...stress...work and responsibility had started to show on her physical and mental well being and she felt tired and exhausted when she was expected to streach a lot....it was only her daily routine that she could now handle comfortably and so much extra work made her cry in pain.

It was not that she didn't like visitors and guests coming at her place and in fact her in-laws visited them every other month. She was a person who would leave no stone unturned in making them feel at home and her hospitality skills were excellent but in all that she now got tired....specially when there were 2 kids to handle...very little support in form of maids....a husband who would not even care to help her a little bit and an MIL who whenever visited would not help...just order things and not only made sure that she was up and running throughout the day but also saw to it that her son never left her side and would not move an inch even if the kids had created a mess...or Tina really needed him..

She was thankful to God, that at least her 2 kids aaryan (7 years) and aaditya (4 years) were fast asleep. Karan, her husband had still not returned from her in laws room and she knew that though her FIL must have slept, her husband and MIL would be busy chatting and spending time together...this is what they had done throughout the day...she was now habituated..

Karan and Tina were a couple married for last 10 years and they stayed away from their families. Initially Tina was a working woman and had besides handling a household and job managed to raise her first kid Aaryan. But once Aaditya was born Tina had taken a conscious decision to quit. Tina's parents were well settled and seldom visited her. It was she who used to go to their place for an annual visit when the kids were on vacation while Karan's parents were a regular visitor at their sons home.

Karan was a husband who loved and cared for her but was a man who was not raised to support his wife with household chores or raising kids..even normally he would concentrate on his job and leave everything else for her to handle. He had his set of friends and colleagues and made sure that he had his me time...and even recreational time on weekends....while she after working hard throughout the week was left just waiting and craving for a little me time away from home and kids and got very little opportunity to connect socially or do something for herself...

Initially when newly married and working and then with her first kid Tina had set some expectations from Karan. She had even tried explaining and involving him sometimes but his chauvinism always came in way which always got supported by his mother that "males of the house are meant to earn and not work in the kitchen or raise kids" ...instead she was taunted and insulted by her MIL for asking for even a small help from Karan and told several times that how in earlier days men never did this and never did that.... She had also given up and by and by understood and adjusted to the fact that she was the one who has to handle the household and kids and probably this was the reason why after Aaditya, she had found it difficult to manage and hence quitted her job.

Even today in spite being a Sunday she had got up early and made an elaborate breakfast and lunch and dinner which included dishes demanded by everyone...her MIL liked and preferred home cooked food only and thus their was no way she could arrange a single thing from outside..... She had made tea at least 6 times....intermittently washed utensils as the maid came just once...had besides taking care of kids washed a big bundle of clothes.....provided for erratic getting up schedules and routine on Sundays....entertained laziness by everyone except herself....gone out twice to first buy grocery and vegetables and later some special fruits which her FIL liked...

Her chain of thoughts was broken when Karan entered the room...he had smelt the ointment and seeing a questioning look on his face when Tina had just started by saying, bahut tired ho gai naa to paav me dard ho gayaa...Karan's response was shocking... It was his mother who had poisoned his ears or his growing apathy towards Tina....that made him say..."Tina...kuch zyaada hi nahi thuk jaati tum jab mere parents aatey hai....itna sa kaam zyaada karnaa pad gayaa ya tumhaaraa Sunday kharaab hua isliye...unke pass baith kar baat bhi nahi karti ho...kitnaa aatey hai WO humare yaha....saath to rehte nahi hameshaa to free hi ho tum...itna bhi nahi hota hai tumse...abhi to maa ko shopping karni thi par tumharaa attitude dekhkar chup rah gai...

When Tina was expecting a little love and care and few words of comfort from her husband, he was blaming him and saying that she was not good enough...a person for whom she had changed....adjusted and had done everything that could make him and his family happy it seemed nothing was enough...but enough was enough for her now....her goodness and silence were being taken for granted big time and now she was going to give it back to him.

He needed to realize that it was a girl...a human he had married and she was not their servant but a part of the family without whom probably the household....the kids and everything thing else would not run...10 years of everything deep buried in her heart was ready to explode and she was now shivering in anger...

She had started by throwing the ointment tube and a big fight was what had followed....by the end of which it was she who was doing the talking and every word she spoke was pure truth...for the first time she had shown that she saw and understood everything but never crossed her line... Never complained and now it was their turn to listen..

Karan...his parents and even the kids who had woken up by now were speechless and watching Tina who was crying inconsolably sitting on the floor and whom they had driven to an extent that she had almost broken down...

Karan and his mother had realised what they had done and a person who was so good... Obedient and never complaining had today told them how small they were as humans...they had picked up Tina from the floor and given her some water....the kids who had started crying seeing their mother were being consoled by their grandfather...

The situation in the family was now set to change and change for good...

It's really sad but true that when a girl gets married and becomes a wife and mother, she is expected to almost overnight transform from a carefree pampered person who has an individuality to someone who is responsible for everything...has no wishes ....does everything correct...she learns...adjusts...and adapts and tries her best to make everyone happy but ends up being taken for granted and listening things against her and her parents and family....she is then driven to a breakdown stage...which sometimes results into depression due to mental trauma... A serious ailment.  ..change of personality and even suicide attempts in several cases...

What Tina did may sound extreme and it was bad that the kids saw all this but is necessary when polite words or gestures don't seem to make an impact... when a person is left with no other option this becomes the only way...

Things have changed in last few years and women are becoming more and more aware and independant and assertive regarding their rights and position in families and even mindsets of husband's and in laws are seeing changing but there are still many who themselves need to realize and speak up for themselves and put an end to this apathy inflicted towards them from their own husbands and families. Hope more and more people including husbands realize this and set their act right in time to avoid unpleasant situations like these and things which can't get reversed for ever...

 

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