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Being a role model as a mother can get overwhelming at times. It sometime get difficult to practice everything you preach and you need to allow yourself a teeny-weeny break from perfection . I too long for the 'me' time I get when my kid is off to school, out to play or staying at her grandparents' house. It is not to reflect on my inner self or rejuvenate myself for the next round of parenting but to indulge in apparently unrighteous, yet harmless acts that I cannot do in the presence of my offspring.
Here are my top five:
1. Hoard on my favorite shows.
When I get fed up of watching the incessant crying of Nobita in Doraemon or the zillionth re-run of Chhota Bheem, I simply 'énsure' that the set top box loses signal strength. Then I subtly suggest my daughter to go and play with the neighbor's kid. Once she leaves, the signal miraculously reappears and I watch 'Friends' or 'Desperate Housewives' to my heart's content. Hey, don't look at me like that; I need my sanity after an overdose of animation.
2. Detoxify the kid's room.
My kid sometimes(I believe intentionally!) chooses the most hideous looking doll or the noisiest possible toy in the store and then emotionally blackmails me into buying it for her. How bad can it be? I think and give in. A couple of days later, when the mostrous face starts giving me nightmares or the in-the-ear cacophonic sound of the toy triggers my migraine and temper alike, I wait for my kid to leave for school and then, quite mercilessly dump the culprit in the attic. No, not the dustbin! God forbid I lose the battle of feigning ignorance and need to return it to her, I definitely am not going to spend any more money to replace them!
Or even that dress, for that matter, the one she insists on wearing every day, literally! I got it for her, of course and took it as a complement initially. When the craze became irritating and my excuses and patience ran out, I made it disappear magically and blamed it on a fairy who loved the dress so much, she took it for herself! I might sound like the wicked witch in this story, but as long as I don't have to see her wear it again, I am cool with it! Abracadabra!
3. Binge eat ice-cream.
Once you are a mother, you lose the freedom to eat ice-cream as per your choice of craving. More often than not, it shall be governed by the status of your child's throat which is bound to be sore when you are craving for a softy. Now you can't be the inconsiderate mom who eats ice-cream in front of her kid when she can't. So what do you do? You hide the ice-cream in a casserole in the freezer like me and wait for your kid to sleep. Then you sneak out in the middle of the night and wipe it off. What she doesn't know doesn't hurt her, right?
4. Gossip with my bestie.
Like a good mother, I persistently tell my kid not to talk ill of others behind their back, all this while dying to talk to my best friend and tell her what a girl who went to school with us had turned into or give the latest in-law update. As soon as my princess is tucked in bed, I slip into my room and call up my bestie. We gossip, discuss, advice, or simply get nostalgic over the times we spent together. You realise the importance of adult conversation after an entire day of discussing princesses, planets and pirates.
This one is a no-brainer when you are a mother. I remember the time in college when I use to sleep well into noon and it made my mother mad. Karma seems to have returned in the form of my kid who has a hate-hate relationship with sleep; she hates sleeping and she hates letting others sleep. When she is off to her grandparents' house for vacations, I try to compensate for the sleep loss my body suffers from by lying down even in the afternoon for a siesta. It is a different matter that missing her hardly lets me sleep much!
So, I just made my confession. What is it that you do behind your kid's back? Do share with me here. Happy parenting!