Dear Papa
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|   Jun 17, 2017
Dear Papa

As I see you sitting on your bed - quiet - I wonder where I lost you. You were the one known for the gift of gab. As a child I did not know the term super dad but I believed that you could do anything and till you are in my life, nothing is unachievable. I used to wait for you to return from office as your presence reassured me about myself and life. Mom was always busy with household chores and ensured we had what we needed in a day.

You were my friend who I could speak to about what I feel, how things are the way they are and what seemed to bother me. I remember the day I was so demoralized when I could not understand Math taught by a new teacher and you came to my room and explained life has bigger challenges than Math. That lesson is fresh in my ears "Life his strange challenges- strong people face them and do not give up. My daughter is strong and I am proud of her!" That lesson raised my self esteem so much that till date when things are not good, I recall it and am ready to take on life.  Then why did age make you forget it?

You played with us, taught us, took us out, bought comics (when you had loans to pay and those were an extravagance). You wanted a son but never treated us as daughters. As a child I resented your wanting a son but I did not resent you.

You taught me to drive a car. When I almost killed all of us on my maiden drive from Shimla to Delhi, you did not scream, or made me give up. When mom suggested you drive the remaining journey, you still trusted me and made me complete the journey as the driver. I have had people compliment me on my driving skills or the ability to drive from one city to another independently ( speaks volume about the social mind set even today) and wonder why it was so easy and matter of fact for you that once I was 18 I should drive. You even used to leave your broken down car for me to get repaired while you would take mine to office ! So why do you look so unsure now when you have to drive a short distance to the local market?

I want you to know that every time I sign a cheque or look at my profile, I thank you for the innate belief you had in me and for making me independent - mentally and financially. Then why do you appear dependent on people to take small decisions now. I do get irritated at times when you ask me the same question again and again in a span of 10 minutes and then I remember all the questions I used to ask you "Where do the atoms of our slippers fall when they wear off? (much before that) Why do cows have toothpaste all over their mouth?". My irritation is not with your question but with the fact that my father who knew all the answers has now all the questions!

I never knew father's day as a child but I knew as a child that my father was my world. This Father's Day I want you to know that my father gave me the world and gave me more than what he could - I will always cherish that.  Love you loads...always.

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