Click here for shortcuts to regional language blogs and city-specific events.
A common saying " Hey you have changed a lot after marriage ". Needless to say what are the probable answers. The best answer I can give is now i am a DAUGHTER - IN - LAW living at my in laws house where i am undervalued and made to feel inferior and work as a housemaid full time.
Yes i have changed a lot because i have completely forgotten my true identity and just one single word left for me to remember " GIVE UP ".
I was raised with immense love and care, learning etiquette's and a good individual. One fine day i was married to perfect RIGHT and marriage was performed with great pomp and show.
The first " GIVE UP ".... I loved my mother and my family and my home like all others. But i have to " Give up " all these, as they no more belongs to me.
A new SURNAME affixed with me and now a property owned with a different label.
Second " GIVE UP".....I feel most comfortable in my western attires, freaking in printed pajamas and shorts when i am at home. But i have to " Give up " as this is against In-Laws tradition. I was dumb-folded when i heard that this is not your house where you can do anything according to your wish.
A BIG BIG question still remains unanswered....Whose house is my house ?????? Feeling of cursed gender started prevailing. I was sensitive and professionally successful managing my life and my responsibilities.
What comes to utmost shock.....A liner which everyone will agree. When a woman reaches home from work...its ok, You had a chilling time outside home so now get engrossed in household work ( cooking meal, study of kids, washing utensils.....Blah Blah Blah) but when a man comes home after work he needs to rest because he works harder than you and needs some alone time...This is called a MALE CHAUVINIST society.
A women needs to be perfect homemaker, a perfect mom, a perfect PROFESSIONAL, a perfect BAHU, a perfect wife, a perfect true companion........never ending list. As a woman you are always struggling and suffering from tremendous mental agony and pain. Its really really hard to achieve PERFECT 10.
Next " GIVE UP " .....Total cut off from friends and social media as again against In-Laws tradition. OMG what a sick mentality. Now only relatives and family members are your own...you have to look after them.
My DREAMY World turned out to be DARE.....Is still something left to give up......YESSSS !!!!!
Why do you call you parents twice or thrice a day especially your mom. " GIVE UP " calling. You are not concentrating on new role and just talking on phone...The feeling of distress was so bad that i suffered from most dreaded disease " HOME SICK".
As a Daughter in Law i was forced to follow filthy customs and rituals of family. Couldn't even complain to anyone as it wasn't my choice. I was tortured by the nasty feeling of being alone. Then came the perfect gift my child, my son.
Next " GIVE UP " is my career. My career was at stake and managing professional and personnel life was SEA SAW type with so many ups and downs. Feeling of joy was like tasting a chocolate with ginger juice and black pepper. But somehow the things moved ahead.
The next statement from my husband " More than LOVE as a wife my looks matter ". I was unable to loose my post pregnancy weight. When it comes to buy clothes for me, many times he makes me realize by passing remarks like " This is not for you, its for slimmer bodies". I stopped loving myself and hate to look in mirror.
Misery doesn't end here. Biggest shock to me was abandonment. I was angry, hurt, pained and nearly failed but people do expect me to be strong because i am a woman. I have to be use too of all these miseries.
JUST BECAUSE I AM BORN AS A WOMAN DOES NOT MEAN I HAVE TO SERVE THE WHOLE WORLD AT THE COST OF MY WELL BEING. The deepest pain i ever felt was denying my own feelings to make everyone else comfortable. I know i have made ample of mistakes in my life. I accepted less than i deserve. But now i have learnt from my bad choices.
NOW JUST 3 WORDS ....." I , ME and MYSELF " ...My concluding remarks
A woman will do any and everything to make her relationship work, That's why she almost never regrets it when it's time to walk away......
Unless i am treated with respect and equality in a relationship.......it's the THE END of relationship.