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My dear Do It Yourself mummies, please don’t do everything by yourselves. Don’t even try. If you have help, leverage. Demand and get it done.
We aren’t superwomen. We are humans born with only 2 hands and have a limitation of 24 hrs.
99% of women go through hormonal issues after child birth. Many of them go through heavy depression. You are still recovering from all the physical changes you just went through. Don’t push it hard and try to do everything by yourself. If your kitchen is a little messy it’s okay, you will not be jailed. The sky will not fall off if you use ready to eat for dinner or toast bread for breakfast. Don’t try to cook 3 course meal every day. You can stack your clothes to be washed over the weekend, it can wait and can be compromised.
What can’t be compromised is your health. Eat on time. Get enough sleep. Take all your health supplements. Engage with your child, there is no alternate energy booster for it.
Take a brisk walk for an hour. Drink lot of water to keep yourself hydrated. (min 3 ltrs per day). Walk and water keeps your hormones in balance, else the world will get to see your pmsing drama.
Set expectation with your partner to share work at home. Just because you aren’t working right now due to your maternity leave or if you are a SAHM, it doesn’t mean you need to take care of everything.We all know staying at home doesn’t mean sitting ideal.
If you are a working mom ,DIY ? don’t even think about it. Ask for help and take help if offered. No ego there people. The world will not bestow “DIY MOM” sash around you. Don’t slog yourself . Not worth it. By stressing yourself you are neither doing you a favor nor your child by showing them your stressed out version.
Many men help their partners with laundry , cooking , shopping groceries , baby sitting late nights giving their wives the luxury of sleep, …etc etc. Having said that , in that percentage of men, only a small number sincerely feel it’s their job too. The rest take immense pride for helping their wives and the kudos pour in, from all around the world. I don’t know if we should just ignore what they think and how they feel and just get the job done from them. It’s really difficult to please the feminist shade in me. Unfortunately there are still a percentage of men who believe they can get work done by giving out orders.
“Feed him dinner its time..” (so can you)
“Make sure he doesn’t put it in his mouth.” (if you already know it , put it away)
“Hold her, she is going to fall down. “ (yes daddy gravity works for all)
“Get her baby bag ready, before we go out.” (baby bags are unisex , want to give it a try ?)
"Keep checking her temperature" (I guess you know how to read a thermometer)
“Did you give her , her meds ?” (just lift it up and pour it out, All it takes is 5 ml)
A big NO NO. Men cannot sit in their couches and give away orders. If they are so thoughtful to say such stuff, they should do it themselves. They cannot excuse themselves saying they aren’t skilled enough. Children are unbiased , they love both parents. A mother’s touch is different from a father’s touch. Get your partner to be hands on DIY daddy. Encourage them to do all the baby related activities. Children love daddy’s face time too. It does a lot for the baby and the dad to bond. Take a day off from your child, meet your friends, read a book peacefully in a coffee shop, explore the city. Shop everything that you made a list of but, haven’t bought since the time your child arrived. Rejuvenate yourself, the baby and daddy will do just fine. For all the lovely mommies , start trusting daddies , you didn’t do a PhD in parenting before your child. If you can learn so can he. Stop being DIY mom , start building a DIY dad.