The Marriage Chronicles - From being a wife to a mother.
|   Jan 08, 2017
The Marriage Chronicles - From being a wife to a mother.

My parents had a typical arranged marriage as was the norm more than 3 decades back. From the time I so-called grew up (which basically means when I became a gangly teenager feeding off of Mills & Boon stories) I couldnt bring myself to somehow relate to the concept. One fine day I asked my mom how she agreed to live her life with someone she barely knew. All she said was "I dont know, I just did." Very powerful words when you think about it. She did add one more sentence though, "you were born and that made us stronger together." As I think about what my mother said, now being a mother of a 3 month old daughter, I must say I couldnt agree more.

I met my husband at work and we hit it off as friends instantly. Now I must add here that I was NOT looking for a relationship at all because I had been through not-so-good time in my life relationship-wise and I was happy having a friend who could make me laugh. Simultaneously my parents were looking for "suitable" matches for me on the matrimonial websites because I had opted for an arranged marriage thanks to my disastrous bad luck with love. But as luck would have it, my friend and I did fall in love within a short time of knowing each other and decide to get married because it somehow "fit".

If anyone ever says that love marriages are like beds of roses, DO NOT listen to them. Each marriage is different, each marriage is a challenge on its own whether its with someone you chose or someone your parents chose for you. We had our own share of bumps and at time massive road blocks. In hindsight I can now probably laugh at all the silly fights we had because we were each trying to find our footing in this brand new relationship that was thrust on to us. There were times albeit that I did look at my husband wondering "who is this person? It sure isnt the person I fell in love with" and I am sure he thought the same thing (maybe many more times than I did)!

Then came the news of my pregnancy which wasnt a big surprise to us because it was a "planned" pregnancy (if there is such a thing). Now in my heightened emotional state thanks to the hormones running wild I worried and fretted about things like what kind of mother I would be, how much would my husband support me, whether he would still love me when i would grow big from all sides. But the biggest worry I had which i often voiced in a joking manner was that I would take back seat for him and would become a second priority for him like a second grade citizen. He never responded to these silly things I said and I somehow started thinking the worst.

On the day of my delivery, my anxiety had reached its peak for very obvious reasons. I must add here that I was fairly calm when i woke up that morning but seeing my anxious parents, mum-in-law and other super excited relatives and friends increased my anxiety levels. As I was wheeled into the OT all I could think of was "my life as I know it is over" and now I would be forever responsible for another life. As my daughter cried her way into this world, I was filled with joy, love and pure happiness only a mother would understand. I forgot all my anxieties and worries.

While waiting to be taken back to the room, the nurse in the OT came to me and told me something which I would forever remember. "Madam, you need to tell your husband when you go outside that we took good care of you and that you are fine. All he keeps asking is if you are ok no matter how many times I assure him." When I came out, I saw him waiting for me and asked him why he didnt go up to the room with our little one all he said was, "If everyone goes away, who will be here with you. You will always come first for me."

That was it. I saw the man I fell in love with right there, my friend and my soulmate. And now the father of my child. We had found each other and now we would not lose our way again. Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours!

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