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Parenthood is all about sacrifices. A mother is often picturized as an epitome of selfless sacrifices who gives up everything for the sake of her children. I realize this is true after a good two years of being a mother.
No, I am not talking about the bigger “sacrifices” one makes – that of a job, financial independence, and unplanned parties and outings. They are options we choose from. Some choose to continue their career, some choose to stay back home and few are able to do both. These “sacrifices” were somehow manageable for me. I had my mind set that I would dedicate a few years for this tiny human being I brought to this world, and that somehow seems easy! However, what was/is tougher for me are the other relatively “smaller” things –
Games – Before her birth, I was kind of addicted to those online games (Yes, I was on a very very high level on Candy Crush!!) Whenever I seemed to find time, I was seen crushing candies on my tablet. Once my daughter was born, I was crushed between feeding her and getting some sleep. I do not have enough time to even think about those candies!!
Gadgets – Letting go of a WhatsApp conversation, a notification on Facebook, or an interesting blog and attending to a tantrum is tough! Even if we check our phones for two minutes, she comes over wanting to use it. I realized long back that my phone and the internet had to take a back seat and I get the privilege of using them only during her nap times. My husband had to let go of his favorite pastime of browsing on the laptop. Needless to say, we both have deleted Facebook and no longer have it on our phones!!
Chocolates/Oreos – Earlier, I just bought chocolates and ate when I wanted. Now I have to watch when I eat them. She somehow knows when I try to sneak in a piece here or there. There was a phase when I just ate a lot of biscuits and chocolates when she was sleeping. But then, gorging on them that way seemed too unhealthy. So, again, I resist the urge to buy them. No chocolates at home means no more temptation to eat them!
Chips and snacks – We (me and hubby) developed the habit of having some or the other fried item (read chips, murukus or any crunchy snacks) along with meals. When the little one sees us eating, she invariable wants some. So I again resist eating them with her. Thankfully, my mother-in-law is an expert papad maker (Yes! She makes papads at home just for dear grand-daughter). So, giving her some healthy homemade fruit papad has been the saving grace till now. Not sure till when this will last though!!
Peaceful meals - Before becoming parents, we always watched something while eating - usually a food show or a movie. This was an ideal way to relax esp on weekends. After her birth, few days went in watching her rhymes while feeding her, and then taking turns to eat. Now, all I want is an uninterrupted 5 minute meal without her asking to be placed on my lap, asking for a toy or wanting to use the washroom!!
Books – Once upon a time, I used to read books. I could list reading under my hobbies. Now, I do not remember when I picked up a book the last time to sit and relax. Oh but I can’t say I have stopped reading altogether. My daughter comes to me with a pile of books asking to be read to every day, so I still get to read a lot of toddler books!!
Bath/shower – Back during my “good” old days, a hair wash meant lot of work. Oil massage (sometimes by mom), hair masks, shampoo, conditioner, dryer, straightener, serum… Whatnot!! I used to take at least an hour for hair wash. And then some more time to “set” my extremely unruly locks. It was a relaxing event. Sundays were meant for yummy breakfast, a relaxing head-bath and peaceful afternoons. Now, I go for a bath with a timer in my head. When did I put her down to sleep and how many more minutes do I have before she wakes up, is the only thing in my mind. The usual days, I’m done with my bath in less than 10 minutes. And if it requires a hair wash, I cannot give myself more than 15-20 minutes! I have given up on having a relaxed bath. It seems next to impossible in the near future!!
Honestly, giving up on these small things has been so tough, but then I keep telling myself “This too shall pass” and “It is for her good”. Not to mention, my good too because when it comes to eating, she has in-turn made me choose the healthier options whenever possible.
So do you have such “sacrifices” as well? Please feel free to list them down in the comments below :)