What should a fat mother do?
|   May 18, 2017
What should a fat mother do?

I gained enormous amount of weight during pregnancy. No, I did not binge on ice-creams or pastries. In-fact, I tried to eat healthy as much as possible so that I do not gain too much weight and almost walked a mile everyday. Before pregnancy, I was a lot into fitness. I worked out 6 days a week religiously and I was considerably fit. But to be frank, I was still a few kilos more than what my ideal weight should be. I had a tendency to gain weight. 

When my son was born, I thought I would lose most of my extra weight before my son's 1st birthday. I started working out when he was about 7 months. I religiously went to my exercise class everyday but unfortunately I could lose very little weight. I am a disciplined person by nature and once I put my heart onto something I go after it with all my might. But life was not just about me anymore. My little one has always been a terrible sleeper and at times, he would wake up right before I left for my classes. I had to skip the classes then. Once I started working full time last July, I had to bid adieu to my exercise classes. It was just too much for me to manage. No prizes for guessing, I had not lost much weight on my son's birthday.

It was difficult for a fitness person like me to pass days without doing any form of exercise and I finally decided to begin again this January. Unfortunately, the progress has not been the kind that I desired. Now, this article is not to depict my inability to lose weight. It is more about the people around me. Oh, we all know that we should not make fun of someone's weight/skin color/height etc. But while one cannot do much about skin color or height, it is presumed that the one who is overweight is lazy or probably eats all day. This is not true at all. My day starts early as that is the only time I can squeeze in a workout and if not anything else at least working out makes me happy. The whole day is spent running after a super active toddler, working, cooking, feeding and so-on. There are several people who never had to battle extra weight and they are indeed lucky. But does that give someone a license to mock a woman who is toiling from dawn till dusk with little regards to how difficult her life is? But ofcourse, these days we are all busy putting each other down.

So, if you are ever about to comment on a person something like- "Wow, you have gained a lot of weight" "Why don't you join a gym" or "You know, obesity is affecting your health, it might lead to so and so diseases", understand that the person whom you are speaking to may already be aware of these things. You comments just prick very hard, however well meaning they might be.

If you really want to encourage a mother to take better care of her health, why not ask her to accompany you for a walk/jog or swimming lessons or gym? Why not offer to take care of her child for 30 mins while she practices some yoga? Why not offer her a healthy meal to eat? It is very easy to pass judgement and laugh at others but very difficult to lift someone up and help them dust off and start walking again. One last thing and I say this from personal experience- At least reserve your unsavory comments when you see that your friend/spouse/relative/neighbor who is battling excess weight has put an effort to dress up. It just ruins their day totally and sometimes several days. If you cannot compliment, do not say anything please. We rarely dress well as most of the nice clothes do not fit or look good. We are left with only Indian wear at times to look what we think is decent. You do not know the kind of self damage you are causing to the person by commenting on their weight when they have taken time out to dress. 

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