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When we had our first daughter – Tia, I was very certain that she would be the only kid for me and I will shower all my love and time on her exclusively. Tia as a toddler enjoyed all attention from her parents, grand parents , uncles and aunties.. And as she stepped into her 3rd year, the thought of having a sibling for her started settling into my mind (and that is more I coming from large family)...
When Tia turned 4, Veena came in our world. How idealist I was to think that both daughters would bond with each other soon and let me have some peaceful time alone !!!
As younger one started growing, her desire to be like her sister started creating big sparks....Younger one always grabbing her sister`s things including her school books, favourite dolls etc.
And the fact that both are exactly opposite– one being quiet and other being (very ) noisy and active , elder one liked to keep things in place and younger one liked to disturb all of it with same passion - My ideal dream shattered and I was set for new challenge now.
Slowly as they were growing, I learnt to accept their fights not being the end of world (which are occasional as of now) but their way of asserting for what they think right. And slowly I am learning to be indifferent to their fights (as long as it is not life and death issue), they are learning to be with each othercompassionately.
So here are some experiences of raising two kids –
1. Though they are always eager to show their mother their disliking for each other, deep down they love and care for their siblings... They are only fighting to get extra affection and attention (than siblings) from their mother.
2. They learn a lot from each other – Imp one is acceptance of the fact that everything to be or will be shared, negotiations to get that favourite stamp from didi or to be able to grab extra piece of chocolate from their younger sibling
3. You start loving kids summer vacations – In their relaxed state of mind, the duo is extremely creative and keeping themselves busy and away from their mother (to not get into another lesson of preaching ) :)
4. Eating pattern – You only need to coax the elder one with right habit of eating and younger one follows the path..It sets the pattern .They certainly have different choices for some of the food items but one item favorite with elder one certainly gets tasted by younger one and vice a versa increasing their acceptability of variety of food.
5. Having said all this, when it comes to sharing their mother , all negotiation, compassion goes out of window and they fight passionately for their space with mother :) and over the period, a mother learns to handle their need for exclusivity with more grace and compassion :)