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The day my beautiful daughters were born, I was reborn as a mother. I am sure, that was also the day, I started getting advices from almost everyone about parenting. We all are taught at every stage of parenting about how to bring up a child; How to be a GOOD MOM! But I believe, nobody can judge a mom to be good or bad. No one has the right to judge her. She is the one who was connected to the baby before anyone else was.
There were lots of decisions and choices I made for my babies which were against the so called ‘conventional wisdom,’ I would like share a few of them with you:
From day 1, I used diapers for my babies. I agree the reason for choosing diapers over conventional cloth nappy was convenience as nappy change for two babies (I was blessed with twin girls…lucky me!!) every half an hour is a headache. But slowly I realized that it was a good choice for my babies. They could sleep peacefully (and so can I!!) rather than getting up every hour for a wet nappy. Although, I keep getting reactions like “What!! you use diapers 24hrs for such a small kid.!! It’s not good for your babies, they may get rashes..etc..etc..”. But I stuck to my choice. I just have to change them on time and trust me the babies are happier! (And me too!!) So would you judge me as bad MOM for using diapers? NO!!
I couldn’t nurse my babies as I wasn’t lactating. I was very worried about it but there was nothing much I could do about it. I used all sorts of medicines that my doctors suggested but they didn’t help much. Lots of people even suggested ‘various babaji ki guaranteed medicine‘but I couldn’t trust all that. My babies were on formula milk from the time they were born. People suggested choosing cow milk over formula milk. But I chose formula milk for my kids, although I know it can never replace a mother’s milk. There are many moms who have to choose formula over breast milk for various unavoidable reasons but does that make one a lesser mom. Should I feel guilty of not being able to nurse my girls? NO!!
I also chose to use pacifiers as suggested by my sister (still a much debated thing in our society!!). As expected, lots of people advised me against it saying that babies get addicted to it. But the fact is that babies get addicted to some or other thing (like sucking thumb or something else). Instead of following conventional suggestions, I chose to pacify my crying, shouting and cranky baby with a soother. Does that make me a bad Mom…NO!!
I have seen lots of moms running after their kids for food but I chose not to force feed my kids at all. I got a high chair for my kids so that they knew they have to eat when they are on that chair. I don’t run around with them for food. I want them to learn that when they are hungry they have to come to food and not the other way around. I choose not to bring up a fussy eater. Should I be charged of being a lazy mom, a bad Mom.. NO!!
And the list goes on… I am lucky to be blessed with a family, who supported my decisions about kids, but there are people who force their conventional ideas or wisdom (Kaajal makes your baby’s eyes bigger….Seriously!!!) on the new moms and if she stands for her choices she is judged. No wisdom in this universe can judge me to be a good or bad mom. My babies’ shining smile is a report card for that and like every other mom, I pass with flying colors!!
Cheers to Motherhood!!