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So my energetic and very curious toddler is always demanding attention. “Mumma look at me”, “Mumma come here”, and “Mumma mumma ….n number of times” until I officially pay attention (by official I mean he should realize that I am looking at him) to what he is doing and give some over enthusiastic response each and every minute. Most of the times I genuinely enjoy watching him experiment with stuff around (though most of the time it ends in mess) or pretend play (accepting injections on my arm and every time making a scared face) or just shouting out ‘awesome shot’ if he manages to hit the ball with his bat but there are times when something else is on my mind or I am just tired after a working day.
On one of those hectic days while returning back home on the way I checked on him and got to know he had his dinner and slept. There was a weird sense of relief and happiness that I will just go home and lie down on the couch doing nothing, have a hearty meal and may be watch some new songs on TV or may be chit chat with my friends. I was actually looking forward to lot of things and when I entered the house before enjoying the rest of the evening I thought I will just sneak in to see my little bubs sleeping. And that very sight of this most innocent face (they are angels when asleep) suddenly I felt downhearted, I wanted him to say mumma look at me and get a hug from him. Now that he slept I will have to wait till tomorrow for it. I stayed there beside him watching him sleep, smiling and thinking what a paradox is motherhood...