|   Feb 06, 2017

“What?” I said and my mother repeated the sentence she said earlier. It was still difficult for me to believe that the said happily engaged couple was no more engaged. Even more difficult to digest fact was that the girl ran away with another guy and got married with him. Strange it was! I knew that girl as fiancée to my cousin. I had never met her but every time I used to login my facebook account, my wall was full of their dating pics, romantic quotes and random pics on love and relations. Sometimes my cousin used to tag her and sometimes she was tagged by my cousin. This scene was continued from past 9-10 months when they both were engaged. The recent update known to me was that their marriage was fixed on a date after around 1.5 month. Both the families had done all the bookings. The bride to be had even selected her wedding costumes with her fiancé. And today my mother told me that the girl got married to someone else. Strange and hard to believe it was!

Even after my telephonic conversation with my mother was over, I kept on thinking how difficult it is to predict someone by his/her behaviour or appearance. I had seen her in pics, I knew her by whatever she posted on facebook. She appeared to me as a beautiful, emotional, loving and caring girl. But now I am unable to accept my own previous thoughts. I kept on thinking such a bold and daring step cannot be taken all of sudden. It means she was playing with the feelings of her fiancé and his family alongwith her own family since long.

It was just a reality and glimpse of what is going on in the society. Everyday newspaper has several news of this type. What is the root of such actions? Is it the generation gap only? Not always. In some of such cases, there are healthy relations between the son/daughter-parents. However, still such incidents take place. Thinking upon the entire scenario, I can make out that certainly the decision making process was slow. There were confusions on which side to go. She kept on giving her time both the sides without thinking on its consequences.

This happens with many people who are unable to select the appropriate one out of available choices. The problem starts with our childhood where all the decisions are taken by our parents and this continues beyond reasonable time period. The power to take small decisions should be gradually transferred to children. Also, while transferring this power, children should also be taught how to take the best and correct decisions which gives no regrets in future. If children are allowed to take small decisions in childhood, they would certainly take best decisions in their youth, provided they are also taught the manner of taking good decisions.

If the children are taught how to take right decisions, as a youth, they would easily make out what is best decision for them and that too on appropriate time. In the given incident, the problem arose just because the decision was taken very late. If there was some person in her life, she would have told and managed to convince her parents on right time. If one is already committed to someone there is no sense in getting engaged with someone else and spend time with him/her. This only ends up with broken hearts and hurt feelings. If someone wants to spend his or her entire life with someone; he/she would have to tell to his/her parents some day. That ‘some day’ should be decided on right time. If that girl would have told and convinced her parents on correct time, no mishmash would have happened. Upto the most, the parents would have become angry for sometime but ‘that sometime’ and ‘quantum of anger’ would have been much-much lesser than that under present situation.

The essence of happiness is the ‘effective decision making’. Effective decision making has the key ingredient of ‘timeliness’. A decision cannot be said to be 100% correct or effective if it is taken beyond reasonable time. If one lacks the quality of effective decision making, his or her life will be full of troubles, anxiety, anger and misery.

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