Mom-In-Law - says NO!
|   May 09, 2017
Mom-In-Law - says NO!

Anika was super excited when she saw two prominent red strips on her self-test kit, elated and beaming she went and showed it to Rajiv who was still rubbing off morning sleepover. Seeing Anika and her happy face he knew what's up his sleeves now he picked her in arms and gave a nice swirl...suddenly realizing his mistake he puts her down with utmost care as if she's made of glass. To this she gave him a knuckle punch and they both burst into giggles.. eyes wet.

12 years since married the news came late but as a refresher from the constant nagging questions everybody feels their birthright to ask. Late not due to any anomaly but planning - living in a fast paced metro with luxurious lifestyle and cozy comforts requires some compromises/commitments. But no one is complaining except the two sitting back there in a small town of Haryana looking at the veranda of their old 'haveli' with no kids/grand kids running around. When Rajiv called to inform his parents about the news their ears were eagerly waiting to hear, his mom burst into childlike laugh with tears rolling down her cheek. Dad being the Sarpanch of the village panchayat showed much restrained emotions but his eyes reveled it all. 

Despite being mom-to-be in early 40's Anika's pregnancy was very easy and healthy. Her doctors keep her active and she planned her work according to rest, naps, eating time, brisk walks etc. Whole 9 months passed in a jiffy without even giving a single ounce of trouble. Her maternity leave is approved by the HR and she is determined to join back in 60 days, with the last promotion her position demands her early return. Her due date is 2 days from today and she bid adieu to colleagues & bosses. 

Rajiv has also applied for paternity leave of 10 days and cancelled 2 oversees visits to be with his wife & see his baby arrive. Everything is going as he foreseen some 8 months back and vigilantly planned. When the day finally arrived, his parents also came to be with them at this crucial time. Rajiv being their only son, his mom have been praying for a grandson (lips tightly closed) and as if God really heard her this time Anika gave birth to a healthy, handsome sonny boy. Jubilant celebrations everywhere they threw a grand party and invited all friends, colleagues everyone. During the celebrations colleagues also asked Anika about her return; her reply was true to her promise, "I will be back in 1.5 months from now". Her parents in law were stunned to know this development which was not shared/discussed with them earlier. 

Next day morning when Dad raised the topic of Anika's job and child's care - Rajiv very casually said, 'Dad, it will be fine don't worry, mummy will take care of son and Anika can resume her job'. Total silence spread over the discussion, Anika sensed trouble and immediately jumped for damage control saying; 'we will hire a full time nanny for kid, all mummy has to do is just be at home to keep an eye'. Her mom-in-law could not handle more and left the place to cry vehemently alone, she was hurt - hurt by the insolent behavior of her own kids, hurt to be treated like an object, hurt to be informed what she has to do; at this point of her life, hurt to be considered just a caretaker now. After struggling all her life, small she expected was love, respect from her son and daughter-in-law. She could not believe the fact of not being asked about her choice by her own son, without talking much she just kept mum and started packing her things to return home. 

Next day they were all set to leave for Haryana when Rajiv asked her, 'mummy kya hua; itna kya gussa - aapko kuch nahi karna bas bacche ko hi toh dekhna tha' (what happened mom, why are you so upset? You don't have to do anything, only look after the child). His mom smiled, hugged and kissed on his head and said - "beta, baccha meine 40 saal pehle bada kar diya tha, ek aaya rakh lo maa ki kya zarurat hai" (Son, I grew you up 40 years back, keep a nanny why do you need mother). And without even looking back his parents left for their home, Anika & Rajiv could not decipher the reason of such dismissal. For them they have done nothing to upset their parents. 

I ask this question to you - Dear readers, do you think it is alright to ask your parent (mom/dad/in-laws) to leave their home since ages, leave their comfort zones, leave their partners alone back at home and come to stay with you in big cities just to take care/look after your child - so that you can resume your work. I have heard or seen many such cases where in new moms say our Mom-In-Law clearly refused to do this job. But my question to you is - Would you leave your JOB/HUSBAND/HOME/CITY for them and stay in small village/city to take care of them? If Yes - I salute your feeling and request you to spread the goodness around you. If NO - please do not expect them to do that for you.

There are many options available in big cities to keep kids safe and active when you leave for your office.

  • Day Care
  • Baby 24/7 care takers for home service
  • Baby Care services in corporate offices (if you don't have one can ask your HR department)

Life is beautiful, make it lovely with the love from all. Hope you like my write up, please give your feedback in the comments below, I love when you share your opinion with me.

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