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'Being a mother is not about what you gave up to have a child, but what you have gained from having one. It isn't a sacrifice you make, but a choice you live with.' These were the words of my mother to me. I have always wondered how motherhood would feel like, will I ever be able to look after my baby and who would prepare me for taking care, being responsible of my baby, how would I hold her and many more such questions. But all my doubts disappeared as soon as my baby was born, my angel, who changed my life for the best.
My mom couldn't be there by my side when I delivered. I'm sure it's difficult to digest but yes this is a fact. We were in different cities. The reason was she wanted me to be tougher than what I was. I went mad at her initially, but later i trusted and respected her decision. She gave me all the moral support a mother would over the phone.
The addition of a new life was such a precious feeling that cannot be expressed in words. She filled our lives with happiness beyond what I can imagine. My mom was on cloud nine for sure. She was eagerly waiting for this news and more for my angel's picture to be sent to her. 'You are a mother now', she said with immense joy over the phone the moment I rung her up. Soon I started to talk less with my mother as I was all occupied with my daughter. She very well understood me for she was a mother herself. Time passed and I was becoming a pro at handling my baby. I was very proud of the fact.
Days passed and there came a time when my daughter was 3 months old and I had planned to travel to my home with my daughter to show her to my mom. This is when reality struck. I couldn't imagine how I would travel all alone with such a young baby. My husband wouldn't come because of work reasons. But well, I said to myself, "when a mother can survive labour and deliver, then there's nothing that she cannot do". So here I was, at my mom's place.
The moment she received us, she didn't even notice me, she simply walked towards me, picked my daughter from my arms and walked back straight towards the car. This strange reaction was the first time I experienced. Well, this is what happens to moms when they become grand moms :) and I was quiet familiar with this experience now. She was so happy to hold her, cuddle her. I started to feel that she was more in love with my daughter than her own daughter (me). I still cannot forget the love and affection I saw in her eyes when she first saw my daughter. We got home and the bond between three of us started to grow stronger.
My mother couldn't experience my infant hood as she was working and didn't get enough leave from work. We were a part of a joint family then but still noone to give any attention. She used to tell me of how she would feel miserable leaving me back home while she would leave for work. Those sights flash her mind even today, the most unforgettable moments. Since I'm a mother now, I could very well relate to her and understand the pain she had of being away from her new born.
But as she saw my daughter growing, I felt that she was experiencing my childhood through my daughter. I could see it every moment that they spent time together. She would spend hours admiring her, making her play, looking after her, massaging, bathing, changing nappies, singing lullabies and so much more. She even told her stories of me as if she was understanding everything she said. She thorouglly made use of every second I was home with my lil one.
It gave me so much more delight to watch my daughter grow in the hands of my mother. There's no feeling more precious than this. And imagine the long lost moments that my mom couldn't spend with me, she's making it up with my daughter. Can I be more grateful?
As mothers, I'm sure most of us must have missed out on our little one's childhood moments at some point or the other. It's tough on mothers and it definitely takes a lot to be doing that. No mother would want to be away. But there are circumstances that make us do it. This made me believe that our parents love our children so much not just because they are ours but also because they relive our childhood times and the nostalgic memories of their past with us. It's a natural, universal fact that you never know or understand what a mother feels and has done for you unless you become a mother yourself. Since the moment I became a mother, there hasn't been a single day when I didn't remember my mom. The number of sleepless days and nights, constant worrying, giving up on her own needs and time, so much more that she has done for me.
Finally, the day had arrived, when my daughter and I had to say goodbye to my mother. I spent an entire two months with her. The best moments of our lives. I was taking back such cheerful, loving memories while my mom was treasuring all the lovely ones she had shared. This was without a doubt the most difficult time. This was the second time I had seen my mom in tears after she married me off. She just couldn't let us go. Such is the unconditional love and bond between mothers and daughters. But we managed to say good bye promising to celebrate our joy of togetherness soon next time. Today, I felt that the most satisfying and precious gift to me from God were my mother and my daughter and for my mother, she says, 'it was the story of Two Mothers and Two Daughters'.