Wanted To Hurt my 1 month Old Baby!
|   May 11, 2017
Wanted To Hurt my 1 month Old Baby!

I can't hear this crying! This can't be my baby! I don't want to feed my baby! Why did I want all this?! I want to hurt the baby! I want to hurt myself!! I feel suicidal!

 Going through some of these?? U are not alone! Blame the hormones post ur delivery!

As a new mom, you face a lot of challenges getting used to life with a newborn ,probably dealing with lack of sleep, new responsibilities, breast pain if you are nursing.

I had been through PPD when D was born and I struggled to pull myself out of it. It is a taboo in our country to speak of it. I used to feel irritable, would cry at the drop of the hat, had the thoughts of hurting D and also thought of hurting myself which I took as an alarming bell. My mom helped a lot by counselling but I never gave it a thought until I myself realised that it was high time that I pulled myself out of it else it would ruin my family  life. Spoke to my hubby, he too was very supportive to help me out.

Postpartum Depression (PPD) usually begin in the first few weeks after giving birth. A few may develop it later, sometimes even six months after birth, and are completely out of the mother’s control. PPD in most cases can be treated by counselling and medicines.

PPD is far more common in India than one thinks. One study showed that 1 in 6 women in India have been victims of PPD. Luckily, most women find that counselling and treatment helps.

Difference between Depression and PPD majorly is the timing. Depression that occurs during the period of  delivery/childbirth is PPD which also is linked to the unique hormonal changes post delivery. Research suggests that sudden hormonal changes after delivery can trigger depression in women who are more sensitive to the hormonal shifts of estrogen and progesteron.


Some women feel somehow responsible for having PPD. Depression doesn't happen because of something you did or didn't do.

There are many triggers of PPD:

Hormones: The hormone levels are very high during pregnancy which drop suddenly after delivery/childbirth. This sudden drop in the hormone levels can trigger PPD. It is like the sudden change in the mood right before and after period.

History of PPD: If anybody in the family had PPD earlier then you are more likely to have it and also if you had PPD before.

Stress, family problems also become the major contributors of PPD. Some factors like no acceptance to pregnancy, financial stability, support  from the immediate family members can a play a role. Women who aren’t prepared to care for or support a baby are also at risk. Mostly the reason why pregnant women are told to be happy at all times (post delivery too).

Few other factors could be physical exhaustion after giving birth, the emotional adjustment of becoming a new parent, and sleep deprivation.


Being a new mom is wonderful and also tough at the same time especially because u have to deal with 'less sleep'.

Some mom's are more likely to suffer from PPD than others after the childbirth. Few of the reasons being:

* Past history of PPD.

* Anxiety or Depression during pregnancy.

* No family support during or post childbirth.

* Preterm delivery.

* Breastfeeding issues.

* Unplanned or unexpected pregnancy.

* Lack of sleep.


• Avoiding family and friends

• Not being able to take care of yourself or your baby

• Trouble bonding with ur baby

• Fear that u are not a good mother

• Severe mood swings, anxiety

• Too much or too little sleep

• Lack of interest in daily tasks

• Thoughts of harming your baby

  • Being irritable or angry.

    PPD mostly goes away on its own by three months post delivery, beyond which speak to ur doctor who might counsel u or might start on a treatment depending on the need and severity. Get help from supportive friends and family, take rest, eat a healthy diet, and get regular exercise.

    Most new mothers get what’s called the “baby blues”. These begin when baby is 2-3 days old and start fading by 2-3 weeks. Do check with ur doctor once if it stays longer.

    It’s the Baby Blues when

  • Your mood changes quickly from happy to sad. One minute, u are happy about what u did and the next minute u are crying.
  • You don’t feel like eating or taking care of yourself because you’re exhausted.
  • You feel irritable, angry or anxious.
  • U are not the ONLY mom to deal with these emotional ups and downs. Seek help and be happy. Mostly all the lows are a passing phase in life. Confide in somebody whom u are comfortable with.

    Been through PPD? Share a gist of ur story, who and how u were helped out of it.

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