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We used to live in a community hence there was a lot of scope to meet people for me to make friends and company for the children to play with. Once the children warmed up to a selective set of friends invariably their mothers became my close friends too. I was very excited with the new routine for myself and the kids.
Since we were meeting regularly we would often discuss our kids and the most common topic being school and our kids performance in general. Some of the discussions actually surprised me that mothers were actually coming down so strongly on their children. Our children were all around kindagarten or grade 1 and the expectations in school itself was quite minimal. However the mothers were always wanting to be ahead of school so the children were involved in a lot of activities some school related and some extra curricular. Most schools emphasise on wholesome development of children and provide a lot of extra curricular activities. Therefore I had not engaged my daughter in too many classes after school.
There were kids who went to full day school and as soon as they are back, they have classes on all days or more than one class on some days. After this they need to even complete their school work. They just wouldn't have the time to meet their friends or have free time to just play in the evenings. They are always in a hurry to get to class or home because their mothers had instructed them to get back home to complete their homework.
It is very unfortunate that as parents we tend to overdo things in the hope that we may discover hidden talents in our kids and enroll them to all classes which becomes too much for the kids to handle. Just like how we crave for that little bit of free time from our work and responsibilities even our kids need that time to relax, play and meet their friends. Plus playing outdoors does have its own benefits it is a good excercise for children and they learn to be good team players, negotiators and makes them innovative when they have the free time and no company!
There was this incident where I left my daughter alone in the park to play and told her that she could play by herself. For which she gladly agreed, I was quite skeptical and really restless because she was on her own. This small action of having faith in her to take care of herself gave her a sense of responsibility, because of which she is willing to do most of her work herself plus take on additional responsibilities. Every child needs a chance to discover themselves but when we get highly competitive to portray ourselves as highly effective parents we lose focus and tend to make bad choices. This may impact our children not for the better!!!
It is a misunderstanding that we need to keep our children occupied. We need to provide them with opportunities to find ways to occupy themselves. This can only happen when they have the freetime which in turn leads to innovation and miracles may happen! If you liked reading my blog please leave your views and comments below. You can even follow me to read my blogs first!