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Maya didn't know whether it was her age(I wouldn't consider 38 old) , or her PMS, or an early menopause, but there were many a times when her mood varied drastically. From working happily all day, to just sitting idle playing solitaire. From being an emotionally strong woman, to crying over petty things like a teen. From appreciating the good in people to fretting over things she couldn't have. She could list a myriad things. She was a multitasker, handling many things with ease.
But it happened, and now more frequently than before. And it was a task to pretend to be alright and normal with the kids. And try as she might, her mind played these games, and she lost too many. It was like a whirlpool of thoughts... Most of them emitting a negativity.
Some days she wanted to go back to college and do something, other days she wanted to become an athlete, or a baker, or a social worker, anything apart from where she was today. Maya wanted to travel the world. She wanted to be some body, that people remembered. It wasn't that she disliked being a home maker and a mother of two. But she also wanted a lot more in life, but she never got an opportunity to prove herself.
She tried to Google the answers, and it said that these were the symptoms of depression. Didn't know if she would believe that.
Doesn't every woman pass through a such a phase? Does being moody or frustrated determine a person's nature? Some of her friends said, to visits a psychiatrist. But what will he say? The things she already knew, and she would be charged for that!! Or an astrologer, as she might have some 'Shani prakop' written in her kundali. Many mouths, many myths. No point confessing her feelings to anyone.
But life is like that Maya. It's never fair. Never was and will never be. You just need to get a hold on yourself. Tell yourself to make the best of what you have. Stop cribbing and wasting your tears. Save them for you might need it later. And don't they say, that a person is where he is supposed to be. And only the strongest have the biggest problems. You are strong woman Maya... Stay that way....