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Don't you think that our kids are lucky to have parents like us? I do think and I am feeling it for long time. Few days back my sweet sister sent a toy piano for my son. Its really an amazing toy having a key board, different style buttons for animal sounds and it flashes light depending upon music. Although its can't catch interest of my son towards itself. Two people of my family really enjoyed it,my mother in-law and my husband. I heard my mother in- law saying that she couldn't afford such type of expensive toy for my husband in his childhood. At the same time, I noticed my loving husband playing with keyboard. My mother in-law stays with us so we talk a lot on different topics. One from those list of subject is her early married life and start of her motherhood.
She got married in a typical conservative Brahmin family where husband-wife talking in open was a crime. They were allowed to see each other during night only with some conditions applied also. All household core should have been done and this "much needed" time was limited to first ray of sun. She struggled all the way to her first child after 6 years of marriage. And even after having a baby not much changed. My father in-law once snuggled his son in front of everyone and got scolded by his father for doing so. A father was not allowed to play with his son publicly. Sounding insane?? Of course yes.. That was called a gesture of a cultured Brahmin family and I don't understand how?? My mother in-law also shared how difficult was the time when she was raising her first two kids. All day she used to do household cores cooking, cleaning, cloths of entire family and what not to count. At times she couldn't attend her crying baby because of work pressure created by her tv soap style saasu ma and sister in-law. After my husband came into her life ( who is second child), she used to give the little one to her neighbors while she was cooking in old kerosene stoves( gas stove was far from reach ). And on top of this she used to make the elder one sitting next to her in kitchen while cooking. I was mouth opened to hear that she even used to make kids sleep in kitchen while cooking. With one hand tapping baby and with other using stove. Dangerous indeed! And not boasting upon what luxuries we parents are providing these days, that era was really bad for kids. Many siblings, less resources, limited attention and poor care. Good toys and expensive cloths were belonging of above middle class parents. Else starting from first child, every younger one used to wear same cloths. They used to play with same old toys and used to use old books, schools uniform and other things of just elder sibling.I am not sure why the time 20-30 years before was not in favor of children. Let me put what i think about the matter. May be because of many siblings (my dadi ji had 7 sisters and my father has 4 siblings), parents couldn't afford every demanded luxury. Not every father was highly qualified and both father-mother working was rarely seen. Joint family culture also played role in limited care of babies. Joint family needs same thing for every kid of similar age. And not to forget, gender discrimination!! Many parents didn't bring up a girl kid and boy kid equally. So boy the " vansh" of the family used to get royal treatment and for girls learning household cores was enough. If girls were allowed to study, they couldn't do expensive courses. During those days Fatherhood was for earning living and motherhood was dedicated to rest everything. In fact raising kids used to be the work of mothers only. Frankly, many of the parents 20 years before hardly thought much for their kids. But Exception is possible any where so those who were lucky not to feel and see these things, I apologize.I am talking about families like my mother in-law's. Families deeply delved in typical traditional rules.
We as today's parents try to give everything what our kids can imagine to have. Different cloths, toys, jazzy gazettes, good schooling and good living, at least every parent try to provide these things to their tots. We parents are working hard, both the partners, trying in fulfilling every dream of our kids.My intention is not to criticize parenting of 20 years before. My aim is to make every parent of these days realize that we are doing best for our tots. We run behind them to put breakfast bites in mouth directly with every bite perfectly sized. We struggle for getting admission in good school. We do best to get homework and assignments done. We search markets for getting dresses when school want them to come dressed as gandhi ji. We enroll our kids in expensive summer camps and extra curricula activity classes. We do get tensed when kids are going through tests/ exams. We don't do gender discrimination now, at least this is my belief. No educated parent raise their boy and girl differently. We also plan our families. Two kids enough!! We do share things in siblings to some extent. But quality matters. We are working towards making their future, to nurture them as good citizen. Gone is the time when nappy changing belonged to mother only. Now fathers do better than mothers.We do more care and that ways more love to kids now. We are evolved parents. Parenting is now considered as art. You master it with every day practice. So feel good, feel best actually. Our kids are lucky to have us with them.
Do you think we are lucky to have children?