Click here for shortcuts to regional language blogs and city-specific events.
Marriage leaves a girl with two homes or homeless? While, unfortunately, the statement “Marriage leaves girl homeless" holds true for many girls, I should not be the one relating it to my life, especially after the wonderful stay at my parent’s place at Dehradun, while calling my extended family in Ahmedabad every single day, not by force but by my own wish.
I married in a big joint family of 10 members, all living under same roof. With initial hiccups, of me trying to adjust in such big family, being brought up in a nuclear family, things are smooth sailing for me. I am not an early-riser and all have made peace with that. I am working even after my daughter’s birth, just have changed the nature of my work so as to have flexibility to attend to my daughter’s needs anytime, while on regular basis she is being taken care by my in-laws. I don’t cook, as they are set in a routine which they are following since like forever. (I guess by now I have proved myself to be the most useless Bahu ever but that’s not the case ;) )
So my routine at my parent’s wasn’t much different from here. Not getting up early, not cooking was still very much a part of my life there also but still there was a huge difference. While I am elder bahu at my in-law’s, and though not asked to, I have to play role responsibly, I am carefree youngest one at my parent’s place. While I have to control my tantrums and temper at my in-law’s, I need not think even for a second at my parent’s. Though I don’t cook even at my in-law’s I don’t even put forward my demands for any particular dish, whereas I had my whole list of dishes ready for my mom to prepare for those 15 days. Though I am given all the freedom and treated like a DAUGHTER at my in-law’s there is some other level of comfort when I am at my parent’s and am treated like their CHILD.
I feel unparalleled happiness in playing two different roles at two homes of mine, both of which identifies with me and none of them is fake. I love the options open for me to be like the carefree kid with parents and extremely responsible elder bahu at my in-law’s. This is something I guess no man would ever be able to experience. He can never have two separate identities which are poles apart from one another.
So for me being married not only gave me two homes but also gave me two identities, two beautiful roles to play and lot of lovely relations to be in…