Daag Achhe Hote hai !!!!
Being a first time mommy makes me feel elated, joyful, empowered and invincible. Becoming a mother expands the parameters of what love looks like to you by opening up a part of your heart that you did not know existed. I love my motherhood while raising my son .I love to do everything for my son; be it body massage, feeding, combing, brushing his teeth or wiping his bottom. I enjoyed every bit of it.
Have not I left my well established career of ‘‘Asst Manager HR ‘’for the same purpose?
Say it a social influence or whatever I used to be very possessive mummy. On various occasions my son who is just 3 years old made me realize my mistakes of being overprotective.
Sharing few incidents of such learning from my own child-
Almost 6 months back he insisted me that he would like to finish his meals on his own. Initially I hesitated but we know child, what they said they will do. So I allowed him…literally he amazed me by eating every grain of his plate, took water from his glass and told me to wipe his face. For the first time I realized that he is growing kid and I should provide new things to him as learning experience.
Second incident when he was done with his first tricycle (within 4 months of its purchase) we went to buy him a new tricycle (almost similar) he opted for a bigger bicycle with advanced design of course. Again I was surprised when I saw him riding his comparatively big bicycle (with side-wheels) perfectly.
Next jerk I got when just to keep it easy I said “its rhino”Adiee and he replied “no mamma its Rhinoceros(Never knew he can pronounce these words with such ease)
Now the above incidences taught me some great parenting skills. It’s my turn to restructure my planning to groom my kid as a self-dependent and self-confident person. Raising an independent boy or a girl is not an overnight journey; it starts with a very early age.
There are some explicit reasons why don’t we encourage our children for doing their task of their own-
They will make a mess
They are not fast enough
They can hurt themselves
They will feel uncared for or unloved.(parent’s assumption)
But there comes a time when we have to show that we believe in them----they start to believe in themselves.Easy steps to grow a self-dependent children-
I prepared my list—
Putting wrappers and trashes in dust bin
Get shoes from closet
Put on shoes of his own(without ties)
Keep his empty bowls and dishes in the sink
Wiping face with tissue
Enjoy playing dress-up etc
- Identify Opportunities-Listing those activities according to the age group of children which can be done by themselves.
It can vary as each child is unique in some way or the other.
- Don’t Hurry-They need more time to finish one task, so never race against the clock. Parenting needs a lot of patience, give them time to finish their work. You prioritize your work accordingly.
- Making Mistakes-making mistakes is a good sign of new learner. Allow them to make mistake, tell them that these are part of it. If they spill juice or milkshake over their clothes let them do it.”Daag ache hote hai”if they are there for some good reasons. Learning from these mistakes is the most important lesson. Encourage them saying “let’s try to do it once again. you are very close to it.” It would surely work.
- Give them options/choices-provide them with two or more choices like which clothes they would like to wear the red one or the black one, which game they want to play whether its cycling or playing with some toy etc. These are small steps taken by you to improve their decision making skill.
- Forget Perfection-Accept that they would not do the task as perfect as you. If they made the mess try to clean up the mess together with your children. They enjoy such “on the job “training.
- Always Praise-The most important thing children could associate with is ‘appreciation’. Clap for them, say “well-done” “good job”-these meant a lot for them. Never forget to appreciate your child for his efforts.
- Don’t put stress on them-Take it easy if he is willing to do, let them go for it, if they don’t show interest don’t force them to do the things even they are capable of doing those things. Remember you are dealing with child emotions, it’s not a computer science where one program is fixed for one task. Consider the circumstances, leave them, keep calm and find out some new tricks.
These are my learning from my mamma-beta moments; yours may differ. Share your own experience to make parenting more easy and more cheerful.