FROM HITLER MOMMY TO A CAREGIVER
FROM HITLER MOMMY TO A CAREGIVER

Three years have passed with the assumption that she is "Pop's Gal". I am a misfit in her little world. I have my own justification for arriving at such a conclusion. With a hectic seven hours duty, semi-kitchen responsibility ( semi because my mom-in-law is the main nurturer). I hardly get any time to see my little toddler growing up. Only "me-time" available  is to gulp the perishable news late at night. My princess manage to keep her eyes open after her day long playing session, just to share her little tidings with mommy dear. But the poor soul gets only disappointment and rebuke from her ever so busy  and tired mom. In the morning she never have the opportunity to have breakfast with me. I mechanically brush, bath, dress and feed her up and run for my morning class. With a sad face she bade goodbye. When I return, she runs after me to hug me or with a hope that I might hold her. Nope, I overlook her. She follows me wherever I go. In return I scold her. She peeps me from behind the curtains. Only time or physical contact I have with her is at the dinning table or in the bathroom. But I constantly yell at her as I have a tight schedule. At night she meekly comes to my bosom to have her sleep. She cuddles by me. On rare occasions I kiss her. My work load and limited knowledge on parenting have made me behaved that way. Now when I introspect I realize, a barren professional mother knows nothing about care giving. Alas! Gradually she stops to shower her love upon me. Neglects me. Ignores me and my existence. But I was taken aback, and shaken  as a mother when one Sunday afternoon I saw her mimicking me, scolding and yelling at her toys. Her yelling caught my nerves. I asked my hubby why she was so loud and irritating. Hubby sarcastically remarked that she is just following my footsteps. I listened carefully, yes she mimicked me. I understood how badly I had treated my daughter. I was actually a Hitler  Mom. I immediately revamped my motherly care. I realized that I was not giving quality time nor passed a single happy moments  that she could cherish. Doing the duty, feeding and compensate the motherly care with material things is not enough.  My daughter was suffering from emotional hunger.  Next day, early in the morning, I went to my Mom's place. I narrated her everything, wept, cursed myself. During my long monologue I saw mom patiently  listening to me. Finally she had enlightened me, " Its ok . Don't worry. When you are with Ista just be with her, even if its for half an hour.Attend no phone calls nor watch TV at that time. Listen to her. How you would have felt today if I would have scold you and not allow you to share your sorrow? Remember your childhood. Didnt I give up my job just to be with you and your bro? She is your greatest treasure. Try to reform from your mistake".

From next day I tried hard to reform myself. I gave her the quality time. However tired I was ,I told bedtime stories, involved her in household chores, watched with her her favourite cartoon shows, took her to parks,had ice-cream treats. Soon I realized that I have got a second childhood. I now enjoy all kiddo things. My favorite actor is not noe Deepika Padukone or Shah Rukh Khan but Chota Bheem and Chutki. It took more than a month to rejuvenate the friendship. At the initial days she refused to open up in front of me.  I thought that she was not closed to me. But she proved it wrong when I had a fever. I laid in bed for the whole day. To my utter surprise my little soul did not desert me for a nano second. She stayed with me like a shadow. Attending my minimal needs. Kissed me too often. Hugged me tight. I could not help laughing when she brought the Nicetamol and spoon for me. Only medicine available to her. Next day she too got fever. She blankly asked if I would go to college. And added the previous day she was by my side 24*7.  I assured her I would stay with her. Her joy knew no bounds. Since than I have transformed myself. Now we play, sing, watch TV together.  She sit beside me and allow me to do my things. Now I realize its a greatest blesssings of God to be a mother. I want to stay blessed always.

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