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Mother's Day approached on 8th may (2nd Sunday in May) this year. It was a normal lazy Sunday except some secret planning going on in my home. My li'l one was trying to hide something that he must have been planning with his Dad. Their hush-hush talks, sudden halt in their talks when I happened to pass by them and a vain attempt to divert their topic of discussion gave me all subtle hints what they were up to. Still I preferred to show all ignorance and behaved like I did not notice anything. In fact, I was enjoying all this conspiracy going on.
After a couple of hours, they decided to go out for buying some groceries and offered me to stay at home and take some rest. Apparently they did not want me to go out in this unbearable heat.
"Okkk perfect!", I said and happily agreed to stay at home. As they stepped out, I seized the opportunity to have an uninterrupted time on a call with my mom. It sounded a normal routine call to her as she picked up the phone.
When I wished her #HappyMother'sDay. She replied with "Aaj hai kya? (Is it today?)"
I said, "Yes."
She : "Roj hi #Mother'sDay hai ek Maa ke liye. (#EverydayIsMothersDay for a mother)."
I nodded silently and we just got engrossed in our regular talks. This was a simple #MothersDay celebration between both of us.
Celebrating #MothersDay was not a trend in our home until some 10 years back. We never felt like wishing her or thanking her for anything/everything she did. It has never been a barometer for the love and care that she has shown for me and my siblings.
But at this juncture of life, our roles have got reversed. Any grown-up daughter must be knowing how does it feel to mother you own mother when she is moving towards her golden age. You can't endure seeing somebody going weak physically year by year who has always been an epitome of strength, courage and stamina.
Though she tries to put a brave front every time, but now I know that she is NOT OK as she claims to be. Now I can sense that discomfort in her voice when she has some problem. Now I can count all those moments on my fingers when she could have enjoyed a little luxury/comfort but she did not care to. Mothers have never been taught to put themselves or their comfort as priority. & They don't care to learn either.
I am the eldest child in my entire family. So I have been blessed to receive some extra attention, love and care from everybody in my extended family. But my mother is someone who I owe a lot.
As any other mother in the world, She did her best to raise her daughters. She never hid our curious and sometimes stupid questions behind "Aisa Hota Hai (It happens like that only)" answers. She never made any differences among her son and daughters. Sometimes we sisters were put on priority than our brother. She never forced us to follow something in the name of religion, ritual or tradition. She always made it a point to explain the logic behind all Indian traditions and then left it to us to decide.
But I could not find anything distinct in my mother that time when she was nurturing us. At times, there used to be a squabble between teen-ager me & a grown up her. She used to patiently understand my points & then tried to throw light from a different perspective all together which was clearly not acceptable to me. I used to take her for granted every time. As if she was not an individual. She fought all odds in her life bravely.
It's my son who made me realize all her sacrifices that she had to make while she was raising all her three children. As a daughter, I might not have understood her trials and tribulations, But my son who puts me on the other end of this mother-child relationship made me understand her ordeal. My son who sometimes becomes a teacher to me and teaches me few things in his innocence. He too gets our roles reversed.
One fine day he just told me that "Nani must be scared of you."
I asked, "why?"
He : "Because sometimes you talk to her in a very angry tone."
(He must have overheard me yesterday).
Me : "Beta I was angry with her because she does not take care of herself. She has always put us on priority and never paid any heed to herself. I was trying to convince her to go for a test and she was not getting ready. & I really care for her. I want her to be happy & in the pink of her health always."
He: "But you could have told her in a polite way. When you will grow old & I will be a grown-up, I will never talk to you like that. That does not mean I don't love you or care for you."
Ahhhhh! he was just so right. He flashed a light into my eyes and made me open my eyes wider. He taught me a lesson to be little more compassionate towards the ones you love. That young mind has shown a more loving path to show your love for a loved one.
I just appreciated him for his thought and said a big THANK YOU. Because he showed me to be a mother to my own mother in a better way.
I am thankful to these two beautiful people in my life - My Mother who gave birth to me & My Son who gave birth to a mother in me.