Don't Lose Yourself Mommies!
|   Jan 14, 2016
Don't Lose Yourself Mommies!

I have struggled with weight all my life. I am one of those who are neither thin nor fat. If I don’t watch my weight, it sneaks up to me so quickly that I can easily cross the line to be called FAT. But I am also not one of those who count each calorie and obsess over it. When I discovered I was pregnant, I was the happiest for all the obvious reasons and also because now it meant that I could eat whatever I wanted. I love milkshakes and cold coffee and each time I used to make some for my sis in law, (who is one of the lucky few who never ever put on weight no matter what and how much they eat!) I would wish I could also consume all of it. Now was the time when I was preggy, I generously pampered myself with shakes, sweets, chocolates, yummy parathas with an extra dose of butter! Long gone those 9 months and I was piled on with oodles of stubborn fat. Since I was exclusively breast feeding my baby, I was forever hungry and did not work out till almost 5 months after she was born. The result? A big, fat version of me who was holed up in the house for all these months with no self-confidence and a weird figure.  I started wearing ill-fitting clothes to hide my extra kilos and stopped bothering about how I looked.

My husband tried cajoling me, berating me even making fun of me, but I always found excuses to not work out and blamed it to lack of time. The truth was that I was so low on confidence and felt that no matter what I do, I will not be able to look like a Yummy Mummy. My husband was slowly giving up on me. Then one day, I overheard my husband’s friend (who really looks up to me) say, “She has lost the charm! I thought she was special but she is just like everyone else.” This shook me. Not that I was so affected by his words, I just realized that I was letting myself down. I decided to give it my best shot. Having a small baby at home with no one to look after it meant I couldn’t go to the gym. I chalked out a plan for myself which involved eating at regular intervals, never skipping breakfast and eating dinner by 7 pm. I avoided eating rice completely and focused on salads and fruits. I split my workout in 3 parts during the day since I couldn’t give myself a continuous 1 hour. This included running on the treadmill in the morning, doing abs and sit ups in the afternoon and another round of running in the evening.  

It wasn’t easy. Even as I am penning down my experiences, I still remember those days when I used to wake up in the morning and climb on the weighing scale praying that those extra kilos to have just melted away only to be disappointed. The weighing scale almost mocking me saying “Not a gram less, fatso!!” Anyways, my dedication slowly warmed up my husband and he started assisting me. Each time he felt I was slipping or losing patience, he motivated me. In the course of this time, I started going back to work, which meant getting my baby ready for day-care, driving long distances, work pressure and all of that. This pressure helped my weight loss adventure and soon I was thinner than my pre-pregnancy stage. I was euphoric! It was the kind of achievement that instilled so much confidence in me made me a Yummy Mummy! I could now buy stylish clothes and even fit into my sis in law’s clothes.

However, this did not last too long. I gave myself a freeway in eating and exercised infrequently. And once again, fat came threatening. I stopped in time and started the process again knowing very well that if it got out of hand, getting back to the magic figure of 53 kilos would be an arduous journey. Even now when my baby is 2 ½ years old, I am still fighting the tug of war with my weight. You know why this happens; Because I don’t take myself seriously. I give more importance to others and don’t value my own body and health. Honestly, it is not that difficult. It is only about building habits. Recent ly, my evergreen father in law all of 73 went on a day trip to Gulmarg (they live in Srinagar, Kashmir). He told me that he went alone with some business associates and thoroughly enjoyed. I inquired why he did not take my mother in law. He said, she refused to go. I called her and asked her about it lovingly teasing her that it was a good opportunity to enjoy an outing with him. She said the day trip is too tiring and her legs cannot take the stress. She is just 57. All her life she has cared for her husband and children and neglected herself. This incident was an eye opener. I promised myself that I would eat healthy, take enough calcium, exercise regularly and also indulge in occasional treats but work extremely hard on my body and health. 20 years later, when we have no major responsibilities, I don’t want my husband travelling alone while I am massaging my knees at home. This is a promise I have made to myself. Let’s see if I can keep it.   

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