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Dear new mom,
Congratulations on the birth of your baby and welcome to the mommy club! Hope you both are doing well. You remind me of myself from 8 months back, when I had delivered a baby girl and was extremely overwhelmed with the plethora of emotions that I was feeling all at the same time - elated, exhausted, blessed, worried, relieved, confused and what not. Having been through child birth very recently I know that the initial few months could be very difficult, particularly for a first time mom. So I would like to share some mommy secrets that we don't often talk about but when they come from a new mom herself these could be extremely comforting. No advice, I promise! I am neither qualified for that (yet) nor I would want to commit the sin of overwhelming an already overwhelmed mom.
We often hear that once we have our baby, we would remember nothing about the painful labour ..well its true to some extent but then your pain from the stitches might surface making it difficult for you to sit, stand, sleep..basically just moving your body might hurt and you must be wondering if your body will ever feel pain free again but hang in there, you have survived the labor and this would fade too. Just few more weeks.
Breastfeeding everyone says is the most natural thing for a mother to do, but it does not come that naturally as it may sound. Breastfeeding can be difficult at first or second or even third..Please be patient. Or it might not work out at all or might work just for a short span..But you know what, that's okay too. Don't beat yourself up if you can't breast feed. Formula fed babies turn out great too. Don't let anyone make you feel less of a mom. You are a great mom and doing the best for your baby.
There would be days when you would feel unattractive and your body would seem imperfect. When you feel that way, just look at your beautiful baby..that's the miracle your body did. Your stretch marks are the proof of that. You are strong and beautiful. Let nothing and no one make you feel otherwise.
With the sleepless nights and rigorous routine of diaper-feed-consoling crying baby-repeat you might not yet feel that immense love for your baby every mom gushes about and worse, you may even wonder whether the decision of having this baby was an impulsive one..but remember this is all very normal..motherhood changes our life completely and we must give ourselves some grace to adjust to our new life..we glorify motherhood to an extent that every new mom feels the pressure of enjoying every single second of being a mom even when her body is exhausted and screaming in pain.. it's absolutely okay if you don't feel like a loving mom yet..you would eventually get there. You would soon have an irrevocable bond with your baby and would be the best mom to your child. Just give yourself some time to settle in.
You will receive advice left, right and center from well wishers..hear it all gracefully but trust your doctor and do only what feels right to you. You might feel that you are not feeding your baby enough or can't really understand your baby..it is natural to feel that way but your baby would give you signs when hungry or sleepy and you would soon start to understand those..Babies cry and they cry a lot, lot of times for no reason and thats okay..don't let a seasoned mom or absolutely anyone make you feel incapable or guilty because you know, you are doing the best for your baby. Never compare yourself with other moms or your baby with theirs. You and your baby are unique!
We moms say that time flies.. let me confess, time flies but only in retrospect. With a newborn if the clock seems to tick rather very slowly to you, then you are not alone. I have been there and I know exactly how you feel. You are exhausted and the needs of the baby are intense too..but the good news is that babies grow up and your baby would be your best guide helping you with cues at every stage. I won't say that parenting would get easier in the coming months, but you would definitely get more confident as a mom. So hang in there!
You are doing a great job and your baby would be just fine. I wish more power and patience for you mommy as you embark upon this super adventure with your most precious.
Lots of love,
A new mom.
Image credit: Pinterest.