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Being an Indian I am extremely aware of the "log kya kahenge" syndrome. By the time you have made decisions about your university, career and marriage, you get to hear these three words so often that it almost becomes a part of your subconscious mind that is always guiding you through to make "wise" decisions (atleast thats what they want us to believe). When I moved to Europe one of the first things that I noticed about the people here was the fact that they live and let live. This syndrome is almost non-existent in the west and people just focus on living their own lives to the hilt. People here make their own choices (and mistakes) and take full responsibility of the good or bad it yields, rather being influenced by "log" to make choices and then regret.
It is a sad reality in India that people are scared to do what they really want to do just because others might not approve of their choices (even if these others have nothing to do with their choice and its impact). "Log kya kahenge" has really shattered more dreams than anything else in India.
How many times have you not followed your heart and dreams, only to please these "log"?- Drop out of college to travel for a year? Choose a career in photography over engineering?Marry the love of your life? This list can go on and on but there are some very strong reasons for us to keep these "log" out of our lives and live a life of our dreams in reality.
1. Its your career.. the money you end up making from it (and how you choose to spend it) is all yours..
People would always have opinions about what you should and you shouldn't be doing. Be a doctor, not a model! But since you would be working hard, why not do something that you would enjoy doing? And the money- less or a lot, since would all be yours- why should the choice of how to earn it be someone else's business?
2. Your spouse is your better half- then who would make a better choice than yourself ?
Though fast changing, love marriages, out-of-caste, inter culture marriages are still considered a taboo in our society and parents would do all that they can to avoid it and please the "log". But is happiness guaranteed in a same-caste- arranged-marriage? Do these "log"make sure that the couple is happy forever- oh wait! we don't really see them around once the festivities are over. Shouldn't the one paying a price for a choice atleast be making them in the first place? Love marriage, arranged married or no marriage- its just your call to make!
3. Bedroom is an extremely intimate and private space..having or not having kids is really our private business!
"Beta you've been married for 5 years, people ask me if there is something wrong with your daughter-in-law, its time you have a baby so that these people can back off"..sounds familiar ladies? Well- these "log" would not be carrying the baby nor would they leave their jobs to take care of the little one..when you are the one responsible for the baby, why should others have a say in bringing the baby into this world?
Apart from these major life choices of career, marriage and kids, there are endless big and small decisions (on daily basis) which we hesitate to make on our own. We just think of these "log" and what would make them happy so that we can get a stamp of approval on our character from them.
Well, can these "log" ever be happy and pleased? Noooo...
Why do we even care so much about these "log"? I really don't know..they don't pay our bills and whatever we do, they would find a reason to mock us, blame us, pull us down and make us feel really mean and unhappy..
We have got one life, and we can never really make perfect choices that would please everyone..so why not just try to make choices that are our own, for which we take full responsibility and be happy..and if unfortunately the choice does not turn out the way we wanted, we can still learn and move on without any regrets.
People who really love us would always be by our side, so its time that we close doors on these "log" and let these uninvited guests stay out of our minds and lives!