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Nothing is too little when it comes to your baby's care.
It is strange how the moment we become mothers we get this extraordinary strength and endurance to pain. I had read about it and always thought that it’s just some exaggeration regarding motherhood but boy, that is true. I mean the small cuts in the kitchen that made me scream and cover that up with band-aids now just go unnoticed not because there is no one to take care of me but because I really don’t think they are painful any more. Especially, after that cut that gave me my baby. Yes, I had a C-section because of certain complications during pregnancy.
Since I was already told that it was going to be a C-section, I made a mistake by watching some videos to know how a C-section was done. I am calling it a mistake because it was scary- the cut, the bleeding and the stitches. To all those, who say that it is an easy way out, I don’t think so. I don’t think any procedure that is used to give birth to a baby is easy. I have not experienced the labour pain and so I am no one to comment on it and say that it’s easier than any other way.
Anyways, being a mom definitely makes us stronger, that too when we have just given birth to a baby, bled too much and physically and emotionally drained. The day I gave birth to my baby, I was not able to sleep. She was in a crib next to my bed and I kept trying to move my head to have a look at her again and again. Every now and then she kept crying. The nurse taught my mother in law and my husband how to prepare milk for her. I had not started feeding the same day as the doctor said that I can do that after two days. At night around 2-3am my little one cried for milk and my mother in law was fast asleep in the same room. It seems odd to me how she could not hear her cries but she said she did not hear and I am okay with it as they were tired as well, but what tortured me was that my husband did not wake up as well. I know he usually also sleeps like that and one has to really shake him to wake him up. I could not get up and so I rang the bell for the nurse but even she didn’t come immediately. I was so frustrated to see that my baby was crying for milk and no one was active enough to work properly. What I did next was, there was this plastic glass full of water next to me on the table, I picked it and threw it at my husband. I am not the violent types but that was the only way. The night passed and the next day was same, oh no, it was worse because apart from seeing that in my husband’s absence my mil was not careful enough to prepare the milk, sometimes the water wasn’t warm enough, sometimes the utensils weren’t washed well. I also saw that some elders were not too happy about my baby being a girl. Initially I cried and everyone lovingly asked me why I cried but by that time I had understood that it’s a waste to spend my energy on them.
I called the nurse and asked her if it was clinically okay if I sit on a chair, she said it was okay but it would be too painful and I will have to be very careful. I told her I will be. Next I told my father in law to wait outside as I had to do something and he obliged. I asked the nurse to lock the door. I had this big cut, fresh stitches and every time I moved it felt as if someone was tearing my flesh with sharp nails but there was no way I was going to give up. I kept trying and finally sat on a chair, held my baby in my arms, and tried to feed her. She didn’t latch immediately but once she started, she did not stop. That was the moment I promised her that I will be there for her no matter what. Some said I could have waited for a day or two, but those two days were not ‘little’ for my baby. Nothing is too little when it comes to taking care of my baby.
Some say I overreacted and it’s just a matter of a day or two but I could not see people being careless when it comes to taking care of my baby even for a single second. It was painful to get up with the cut so fresh but it was all worth it.