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All these days I kept thinking, who is my momspiration... Is it my mom? She gave me birth, took care of me with all the love and sacrificed everything for me... but the moment I got married, left me alone because she believes that her duties are done once I am "happily" married. I want to say she is my momspiration but she is not, she is my world but not my momspiration. Is it my Mil? She has never forced anything on me, she has never played any kind of politics with me, she has never expected anything from me... but did she bother to be here with me, struggling with motherhood challenges, every day, all alone, not even a single mother figure to be there to listen to me, to help me out. I want to say she is my momspiration, but she is not. I love her, and respect her but I am not inspired.
Yes, no one else but I am my momspiration, no one else is there to give me strength, the will to stand up again each day after hearing it from everyone, EVERYONE that i am doing something or the other thing wrong, incompletely or not so perfectly, I am the only one who talks to me and tells me that, 'Listen no one is going to come here and help you out, your mother has two other kids apart from you and she has her priorities set right, so well that she ( or your dad, brother or sister) could not find even a single chance in 2 years to find time out for you and come meet you for even a day, so forget about your mom coming to help you out.' I am the only one who tells me, 'Forget about the in laws, your FIL has a job, your Mil can't leave him alone.'
I am the only one who tells me, 'Your husband has a whole lot of other things to worry about, so just cut the ****.' I am the only one who tells me, 'You need to stop pitying yourself. You will have to get up and get your s*** together because you have got nobody but you, your God and your baby.'
Most of the times, I am happy and content but then there are tomes when I see other moms, with their moms, or moms in law, or even their sister, sometimes, I get jealous. Jealous that there is no one with me.
I fall down, I cry, I fight with myself... I do it all alone, every single day with absolutely no one to understand what goes inside my mind, my heart... then I wipe my tears, stand up, wash my face, put a smile on my face and start afresh. Since, I do it all by myself, I don't think anyone else deserves to be my momspiration. I am my own strength, my own inspiration and my own friend.
With a little one in my arms, every now and then, I hear these things, 'You should subscribe to some parenting magazine', in the name of help I get this advice, 'Why have you taken up extra work? Just give up all this burden and focus only on the house, you will be happier.' Everyone else knows what will keep me happy without even asking me once.
Anyways, I am my momspiration because I am the only mother who has been there for me, and who has taught me that no matter how hard people try to bring me down, I am not going to let them be successful. I am the only mom who has taught me that people will always find faults with me, they won't help me ever but they will always make me feel that I am a bad mother, they won't say, 'You are not a good mother' that would be too gentle, instead they would say, 'You are a bad mother.' so that it hurts the most; but now I have taught myself that no matter how much they judge me, I am the only one to be there for my baby girl and I won't leave her alone the way I am left.
I feel there are many like me, who are doing it all alone, without their moms to be there even once to hug them, for any reason. The only message I can share with them, you might find a lot of women, mothers to inspire you but in case you don't... try and become your inspiration. Please don't wait for someone else to e your strength, sometimes the wait is just not worth it. Stay strong come what may and someday you might become not just your inspiration but someone else's too. Never give up.
Sorry, but I can't find anyone my momspiration except myself, and I would try to be one for my child as well. I will be there for her till my last breath.
I am my momspiration because in the hardest possible times, only I have taken care of others and myself. People might have forgotten and I don't care about it. I am not going to leave me alone ever, I will fall down, cry, wipe my tears myself and fight back NO MATTER WHAT.