She is a mother and MORE to her children.
She is a mother and MORE to her children.

She is a mother and MORE to her children.

This was a happy family, a beautiful set of parents and 2 lovely daughters. Father-  a businessman, a good husband , a caring son and a loyal friend. Mother- a teacher and like many moms always trying to achieve a work-life balance.

They had been married for 18 years and were battling a case of enlarged liver and a poor kidney that the husband had. This enlarged liver caused multiple problems like breathlessness, water retention in the body and this was accompanied with thyroid. Since they lived in a small town, the couple were always visiting Delhi doctors for advice and analysis and innumerable tests. Many day trips were taken while the children stayed under the care of the grandmother.

Different doctors, different cities, multiple treatments and alternate therapies; that is what life was about for them.  After many discussions when there was no choice left it was agreed upon that the only solution was a set of multiple surgeries. Liver and kidney transplant both had to be done. This would be a rare surgery and if successful, it would positively make the appointed Dr, earn accolades and merit.

The wife chose to give 60 percent of her liver for the transplant to the husband and his mother chose to give a kidney. The adults of the family all got hospitalized together. There were many a members of the extended family that pitched in and I saw and learnt that this is how families stick together. An aunt cooking for the kids and visitors, a cousin running for reports, an uncle keeping in touch with the nurses and doctors, a sister praying, friends getting tea and coffee for the extended family. The kids stood waiting outside the surgery room; waiting, praying, holding hands and re-assuring each other. This was the scene on doomsday.

The surgery was labelled successful to some extent. The man’s mother was recovering well and fairly fast and the wife too was recovering albeit slowly but as expected. Their recoveries were impacted by the strength in their hearts and minds as the father’s condition remained critical. He battled on for 10 difficult days in ICU but there were multiple complications and he left this world at a young age of 44 years.

Loss of a parent at the tender age of 13 and 6 is obviously unbearable. Loss of a son seems against nature and loss of a husband especially while your children are young and impressionable is heart-breaking and devastating.

The wife now widowed cremated the body of her husband with her daughters. She,it seemed simply decided to take life head on. Her eyes were flooded, her heart overwhelmed and her mind trying to grip the reality but she never seemed weak. She began spending each moment not just in despair (for she obviously was in mourning) but in planning for her children’s future.

Within a month of the tragedy she was making serious attempts at attaining normalcy for her family. She had not just been through a personal loss but also was bearing the consequences of a serious surgery. She was physically in pain but very quickly she went back to her work. Maybe work was a good distraction. She organised extra activity classes for both her children so they too would get busy and not be around when people came to offer condolences. I can’t even imagine the torture one goes through every time a friend, an uncle, a neighbor, a cousin starts sympathizing.

This lady did not require sympathy, she was in pain physically, mentally and emotionally but she brushed all that aside for she was not to be labelled - a sorry figure. She was to be labelled supermom. You could catch her smiling and talking to her lovely kids on many occasions, she was their mom, their guardian, their friend and a natural substitution to the missing father.

She chose to live for her kids, she chose to embrace the beautiful memories, she chose to be empowered and empower her girls and most importantly she chose not to be pitied but to be admired for her strength, her courage and her beauty. She remains a devoted mother and a caring daughter-in-law. She is surrounded by many people who love her. She functions like a racing horse with blinkers and not thinking perpetually of the tragedy in her life but simply aiming for the best possible future she can provide for her children and the best possible mother and father she can be. She’s a survivor and she is an inspiration. She’s a mother and more.

I gain strength from her battle, her struggle and her inspired self. God bless and Respect#

Please note: the names are not mentioned in order to protect privacy.

 

 

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