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Types of moms – which one are you?
We moms fret, complain, fight, provide and somehow we survive. We have battles with daily tantrums, we nag to death and reek of sleep deprivation. We come in different shapes and sizes but the unconditional love in our hearts can win all the battles.
Definition: MOTHER – noun/verb
Someone who does the work of 10 for free. Can be a tornado and warm sunshine in a matter of seconds. Can go to war for her child. Has eyes in the back of her head. Has a highly developed 6th sense or even 7th or 8th sense.
See also: nurse, preacher, loony, hug dispenser, taxi service, chef, and superhero.
1. Tiger mom – a very popular breed since Amy Chua’s Battle hymn of the Tiger mother. She’s fierce and competitive. Her child has to be the best in all activities. She may or may not flaunt her child’s extraordinary skills in piano, tennis, speaking at least 3 languages and reading proficiently all attained in the early years of 0-5 years. She aims for Olympic medals for her child and at no expense will compromise academic excellence. She targets right and left brain activities for her child. Be afraid of her; be very afraid for she can make fellow mothers feel like nincompoops.
2. The nirvana mom – The opposite of tiger mom. She’s at peace with everything. She’s happy with her child’s progress, she has no issues with the teachers or the school and has no complaints. She loves everyone and everyone loves her. Her secret mantra could be baking, meditation or weed!
3. Social butterfly mom – She is always well dressed and comes to school even at 8 AM in high heels and seemingly natural make-up. It seems like she took a detour from walking on the ramp! She looks good all the time and keeps fit much to everyone’s annoyance. She enjoys her clubs, the parties, the massages, the night outs and posts on facebook her new hot look with the husband and a glass of wine every weekend. She wears big fancy sunglasses and has the perfect holidays. She is aware of all the popular restaurants and their best cocktails. Whenever I see the social butterfly mom, I keep looking out for the lurking paparazzi! Sometimes you find a good combination of no 2 and 3.
4.Drama Queen mom– She’s chirpy and talkative and filled with sagas and stories. She has an eventful life thanks to maybe the overbearing in-laws, the maid’s boyfriend, the husband who is a globe trotter, the neighbour who has an extra marital affair, the child who is hyperactive, the driver who damaged the car, the sister who is about to get married and a combination of such factors. She may or may not be dramatic herself but there is positively a lot of drama around her.
5. Juggler mom – She is the hard working mom whose day begins at 5am. She starts her day with instructions to the help, does 20 minute yoga, packs lunch for child, and gets the child ready for school. She could be a homemaker or/and freelancer or she works 9 to 5 and manages a good career. She takes her child to the park in the evenings, for cycling and for music and dance classes. Over the weekends she organizes or attends play dates, prepares her presentation for Monday meetings, takes her child for a 3d movie , attends a birthday party and sees to it that the weekend meals are the family favorite. She does all this every week and I pray she has a supportive spouse who pitches in often.
6. The buzzing mom – The reference point here is the hard - working buzzing bee and not someone high on alcohol! A milder version of Tiger mom. She is aware of all the all extra activities that exist in the city. She keeps in touch with fellow moms for information on latest toys, educational games and books. She may or may not be the group admin of the Watsapp moms group. She’s your “go-to” person if you want to know of summer camps, drama, classes or swimming coaches.
7. The nag mom – This one goes yackety yak all the time. She’s an instruction imparting machine by the second. She is always confirming, clarifying, enquiring and she comes with perpetual raised eyebrows! You can do with the ear plugs with this one!
8. The guardian angel/ The second mom - She is a mom at heart. She is the sister or sister-in-law or a friend who loves your child. She is the grandmother who tells sensible bedtime stories. She drops and picks your child from school when you are busy. She pampers your child with toys and books. Sometimes she spoils your child with ice cream and chocolates. She’s special and important for she helps your life run a little bit smoother. She’s your best friend, your ardent supporter and offers honest criticism. Cherish her.
9. The emotional blackmailer – You know what she does right? She’s always blackmailing children into doing things reminding them how she will die one day or of the stretch marks she has on her body thanks to child birth. She keeps a box of tissues handy at all times for surprise breakdowns. Watch out – the child cannot leave the house without melodrama.
You find combinations of these moms of course. Whatever type of a mother one might be but all moms have a few things in common. Moms are their child’s truest friend, they are fiercely loyal and love their child to the moon and back. We are all special – cherish us for all we do and our simple wants like going to the bathroom alone with no disturbance!
WARNING – Beware, all moms can turn into Momsters if provoked with disobedience!
So what category do you and your friends fit in? Mention your type and tag 2 friends along with their type and see if everyone agrees? Have fun this mother’s day !