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Change is one thing that is permanent. Just when we are comfortable with something, change happens and there are few challenges we face. Just when my daughter was 3 and life was comfortable. I could manage her hands down, have my own time, spend a lot of time with her . Being gift of our life, me and hubby thought we should gift her a sibling, a soul to stand with her during good and bad. This decision was taken with all the positives in mind. Soon, me and my hubby gave her the good news that she will be the elder sister very soon. Happiness knew no boundary for her. So were we. Happy and waiting for the little one of our family. Being mother for a second time was exciting. I knew how it would be after having a baby . Sleepless nights , crying all night, feeding all time, changing nappies anytime, mood swings . But few things, I didn't know of what it is to be a mother for a second time. Here are few I found I didn't give much thought of, before planning for my second one.
1. No time for my first one
The first three months ! Gosh, I have surpassed that. Sleepless nights, feeding the second one all the time and my elder daughter will be there with me all the time. That was the time, I used to feel, did I take a wrong decision of bringing a second one in our family? I used to feel bad for my first one as I couldn't spend much time with her as I used to do before. To keep her away from sibling rivalry and other unwanted thoughts, I used to keep her close to me all the time. No matter, I feed him or make him sleep, she used to be there with me. This experience was completely unknown and new to me. Only thing I was told repeatedly by others was about the initial sibling rivalry that burns within the elder one. But how to go about it , I was clueless.
2. Wait, am I breathing!?
There's hardly time for anything!! If you are fine with your little one's feed, then hang on, there's your elder one waiting for you. Dinner with your elder one, your younger one wants his nappy to be changed. Grrr.. hang on , let me drink some water.. so , all first time mom who think they hardly have time to sleep or read or 'me time', hang on.. here mom of two hardly have time to drink or pee when we want to. It's not a state of pity I am trying to portray. Again, a point I never pondered on. Doing each work two times (feeding,bathing, cleaning) does make a difference.
3. Social what!!
But for Facebook and WhatsApp, I would be marked as the invisible by outsiders. Being active on Facebook and WhatsApp is definitely not that we are free, but to make ourselves feel better from the otherwise clichéd chores. I do go to play area for my little one to play outside. But there is not much scope for interaction as running behind your kiddo is the supremo duty there. During the initial months, it was hard to be just staying at home and do the same monotonous stuff.
4. Going out?? Oh I am more than happy at home :)
We plan a outing with two, it turns out to be a workout session. Both parents running or lifting one of them. It's fun for sure but strictly advised once a week. If you are a group (grand parents, aunt, cousins), then outing is more fun as you have more people to manage and help with. If its only you and your better half, then outing can always wait ;)
These are few things I overlooked and when I faced it, I understood the depth of it. It's been 15 months now, and the journey of parenting gets all the more interesting.
There are lot of positives as well. Parenting is lot more easier the second time. First time parenting would have taught you enough that you can handle your baby pretty well. You are clear with feed timing, medicines, nappy change and all.
How to handle two at the same time without hurting the sentiments of both kids and valuing yourself is the challenge. Just an extra dose of 3P ( planning, patience and perseverance ) is key for being a second time parent (2 P) . A lesson learnt so far. I am sure there is lot more in store .
Have I missed out any point on second time parenting? Do pen down your thoughts in comments.Catch you all with a better blog. Till then, happy parenting :)