Food, shelter and home: I want a little more from my only life... 
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|   Mar 16, 2017
Food, shelter and home: I want a little more from my only life... 

Mom, please talk to Papa once more. I'm sure this time he will be convinced. I can't really can't live more like this.

" No Beta, I think you are over-analyzing the situation. You need to understand marriage is not a child's play and you are not a child! You are a mother of two kids and now we expect to have that level of maturity in you to handle things on own rather calling us all of a sudden to quit".

But Maa, things haven't changed in a day. I have been telling you the same thing again and again and it's too suffocating now. I thought at-least you will support me but you have also started talking like Papa.

" What should I do else? Stop behaving so selfish. Will you be happy to raise your children all alone and stealing their father's love and name from them? I think it's better you to stop making calls like these to us".

How can you say like this Maa? I had told you that this marriage is not for me. I asked you hundreds of time to take me back from here. But you continued to pressurize me to live with a man who only cares about himself. He never wanted to marry me but you guys decided my fate. I kept kept mum for years but it's just me who has been suffering these years. But I can't live like an impostor anymore. 

"Marriage is not a child's play,  there is more beyond just two of you . Look at your in-laws, how good they are.  They have  never complained about you ?  And you will not get everything in life.  I agree your husband loves you less but you have your in-laws. Everything will be fine but you aren't ready to try at all "

Yes I have been the only one trying since years but now I want to try something good for myself.  Enough is enough. I also have just one life to live and I really want to live it, not drag it anymore. Trust me,I will be fine.  And if you are concerned about my future then you need not to be. I will resume my work and can support my children single-handedly. 

" We didn't provided you education to ruin your life and our reputation like this.  A woman who can't hold  her family together can't infuse good values in her children. When you call me like this, I rather feel worried what if somebody listens to you? Your father had a tough job last time to persuade your husband and in-laws.  We can't plead them again and again to forgive you . "

Plead them for what? ?  To stay with a man who never wanted me in his life but just  to obey his Parents who are aware that I had been a victim of a forced marriage to their son and instead of treating me at least like a human,  treat me just like their servant and an 'honor -keeper ' of their family? I have been living here but without any existence, they blame that I have failed to please their son.  How do you feel Maa to know that  I have been touched by my husband just to produce children and never else?? I also have right to live a life where I get some love and not just bushes or bullies.  

"  Beta life is not any bollywood movie and that's all the role a woman has to play in the family. You keep them happy,  your husband will also stay happy.  You think you will find a job and earn like 10,000 rupees  which will be enough for your children if that's what you want to prove?  And for god's sake, nobody is killing or scrutinizing you so steer away from rubbish things. You have shelter, food, respect and children. You will lose this, you will lose everything!" 

For years I thought the same way but not anymore. I only want your support Maa that I'm not alone in this world and I can still fight for my existence. I am also a human apart from being a wife or daughter in law. 

"Don't disgrace our efforts like this. God knows what perfection you girls want today from your in-laws. Divorce has like become a fashion today but don't think we will entertain a divorce mother at our home. We have to show face to our God when we will die. "

After few moments, Ok Maa, I'm putting off the phone.

" I hope you will not call like this again"

No, never.  Atleast till the time when you will #stopjudging your own blood.

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