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When I observe many kids around me, I often think to myself "Were we like this when we were young?"
In general, today's kids are more demanding, adamant and outspoken compared to our generation. What has brought this change? While there are n number of factors that have changed, most important factor is the change in US (parents). This thought took me to the question land and so many questions crowded my mind. I am almost guilty for being a cahged individual.
While it is easy to get angry at the child for not behaving, I think it is a high time that we show a mirror to ourselves! The below behavior may not be true with each parent, but this is my observation in general.
1) Today, we often see that if the kids asks for something, they just want it at any cost. They do not agree to a NO. These days, mostly both the parents are working and hence there is no scarcity of money as it used to be when we were young. Since we have disposable income, its quite natural to pamper our children with the best of what they ask for. We never have to tell them "No, I cant get you this because we cant afford it yet!". The bottom line line is, our children never hear a NO from us. Why do we fail to make our children understand that they are denied of that thing because they don't need it. Why do we fail to teach our children the difference between necessities and luxuries? By pampering them ever since their birth (for whatever reasons), are not showing them that all that is provided to them is a necessity?
2) More than children, we parents are following the bandwagon of turning our children into some kind of superhero! Kids of age 4 today do so many things - school, hobby classes, sports, external academic exams, dramatics, dance and what not! Do we really care if our children are inclined towards these things? Why do we have to put them through so many things? Answer is simple, because all other children from his class are doing! If my boy doesn't do it, he will be a loser! REALLY?? What are we teaching our children here? It is from this behavior of ours that the child picks up the bandwagon theory! Why do feel angry when the child demands something because his classmate has it? Didn't we teach them to do what other children are doing?
3) Whether we like it or not, we lack discipline that our mom's generation used to follow. Most of us wake up late (on holidays only) and we allow our children to wake up even later. While it is good to be considerative of the child's need for sleep, aren't we introducing them to indiscipline? I remember I was never allowed to sleep beyond 8 am!
4) I often see that lot of couples argue with each other in front of their children. I understand this is not intentional, but can we be more watchful before fighting or arguing, or for that matter, even using some slang in front of children? What do they pickup from this? They will innocently follow the same behavior while dealing with their friends because they may feel that's the way because my mom says so!
Sometimes, I feel that more than children, parents only need grooming!
I just picked up 4 questions from so many I had, thinking that these could be common with masses. Do share your experiences and any inputs on how you groom your children. Your inputs may save me a guilt trip ;)