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Is Peer Pressure all bad?
Peer pressure is not all negative. BUT when this pressure becomes a cause of concern for your child and you, then yes, it is a cause to worry about and do something about it.
Peer Pressure is a hotly discussed word everywhere. It is about being influenced to do things which you otherwise wouldn’t do. The reasons are
To be like your friends
Being accepted by them as being cool
To be included and be popular amongst friend groups
But is that all wrong? Everyone wants to be accepted and liked, every one somewhere in their life idolises somebody so then why do we consider it negative. Peer pressure is not all negative. Many times coming under the influence of good friends and becoming more positive and assertive in their company can also be termed as peer pressure.
BUT when this pressure becomes a cause of concern for your child and you, then yes, it is a cause to worry about and do something about it.
When Suraj’s dad got a transfer he had to move to Pune, initially he was sad having to leave his friends and moving into a new city. In Pune, Suraj moved into an elite society where he saw kids dressed in the best of clothes and using things of expensive brands. Suraj being an amiable person soon made friends and one day was called to a friend’s birthday party. The birthday was celebrated in a posh restaurant complete with a theme, artists giving live performance etc, the return gift too was a very expensive one.
In the following month Suraj was going to turn 12 and his mother, Priya as usual was planning a birthday party where she was going to call his friends home and make all his favourite food. As was their practice she sat down with Suraj to make a list of his friends and plan what would be the menu and what kind of cake to order etc. But this time Priya did not find the same enthusiasm in her pre teen. In fact he was against celebrating his birthday at all. After some heart to heart talk, Priya came to know what was troubling her son. Instead of giving in to the pressure she explained to him, that the main purpose of celebrating a birthday is to have fun. She also explained to him that sometimes parents do not have the time to plan a birthday at home and so they arrange event organisers to do it for them. But here, she and his dad were going to make time, out of their busy schedule and plan his birthday together with him. She explained that giving time was the most important gift that parents could give to their children.
Reluctantly Suraj gave in. But to his pleasant surprise, his friends had a great time at his party. Priya had taken extra efforts to have a sumptuous and extensive menu which included an item each of Indian and other cuisines which had the children licking their fingers. She had also arranged some exciting games which were thoroughly enjoyed. At the end she gave them a return gift of story books and told them to read and later exchange with one another, which meant all of the 20 kids were going to enjoy reading all of the 20 story books.
The moral of the story is
Priya had understood and empathised with what her son was going through.
She had had a heart to heart talk with him to understand it.
She had taken out time for all of this.
She had not given in unduly but had made certain changes which she though were justifiable like having an extensive and interesting menu to appease everyone’s pallet.
And the best, she had tried to explain and help her son understand that spending money lavishly was not the only solution for having fun. Asst. Prof. Trupti Jadhav