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How often we resort to threatening our children with the "or else" or "nahi toh"? The answer may be a lot of many more times than we would like to admit.
Every time we use a threat to discipline our child, we are injecting fear little by little into their delicate minds. Unfortunately, since the threats are coming from parents themselves, kids often end up feeling scared of the parents. There parents are the only people they can be sure of and feel absolutely safe with. Every threat just tends to make them feel more scared and in time, as they grow up, they won't be scared anymore but will turn rebellious.
None of us want that for our kids, do we? So, what do we do when they refuse to drink milk, eat their lunch, study, or finish their homework? We reason with them. We treat them like a grown up (kids love that) and show that we are placing our trust in them.
If they don't drink milk, you can tell them how they might hurt themselves badly if they fall, as milk strengthens their bones. If they hurt themselves badly then they can't go out and play and have to lie in their bed for a long time. In this case, you are not being the bad person, you are just the concerned parent who is telling them about what can wrong if they don't drink the milk. You know your kid well, so use your imagination to address each issue. But always remember, give them a logical explanation that they cannot challenge ever. The moment they find out that what you told them was just a ruse, they might lash back and try to play smart with you.
It is important you start this exercise early on in life so that it does work with the kid. It works later as well, but will take more time to familiarize the kid to this new technique as they have always been used to threats, and whenever anyone tries to reason with them, then too, they perceive it as a threat or a trick.
Don't Vilify The Doctor or Policeman
Many a times, I have seen parents threatening their kids with words like "If you do this then the doctor will give you an injection" or, "if you don't do something (like eating) the police will catch you." This can have a negative impact on your child. Doctors and Policemen are there to help us. Your child needs to trust them and know that they are helpful people and not out there to hurt them.
The doctor gives an injection to protect the child from harmful diseases and the policeman might of be help to a child in case they ever need any. They should not hesitate asking for help from a policeman just because their parents have always portrayed them as people who punish. Make life simple for your child. They are not complicated people. They know too less. Teach them reasoning, not threatening. They will thank you, forever.