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Jot it down if it’s unexplainable has always been my policy, but looking at me right now I feel so funny. All my feelings are unexplainable but I hardly find time. I am like calling out loud to use the washroom because someone needs to be besides my son, always stinky and shabby, drenched in pee, and messy hair. Altogether really I look chuckle-some and they said, "Happy Motherhood".
Being pregnant was the most beautiful thing. I really miss being pregnant. It’s like you are the apple of everyone's eye, priorities everywhere! At some moment I wished I was pregnant forever. Touchwood the physical struggle I had through pregnancy was nil and I even danced at the last trio.
Now the real journey began.
It is really a lucky thing not having a morning sickness, but I always wished that I could ask at their face -"So shall I throw up on your face?" I and my co-pregnant friend used to tell everyone, "Yay! We enjoy all food" and without fail discuss the NAZAR thing that used to happen that night.
I’ve always wondered why my tummy looked different to different people. But no matter what your tummy size is a must to be commented on.
Hey thanks! But I hope it is a human. At a point I’ve felt that I wanted a boy. It was simple I wanted to be the mummy of a boy. But I would never have been dejected if it was girl. In India wishing for a baby boy means – “You will kill a girl child- You are mean- You are so inhuman- OH! Gender inequality!" So mostly, those who wanted a boy would always say -I want a girl so that they sound cute, or say I want a healthy baby. I do agree that this is what is ultimately needed.
People really get anxious than you for the baby. You’ll get to hear N number of birth stories say, ‘Normal delivery suddenly became an emergency C-sec, Water break stories, NICU stories, Premature babies, and the - "Doctors these days promote C-sec a lot".’ This dialogue is mandatory. But keep calm it’s all with God. You will still find people who smile and say, "Hey! Best wishes".
Throughout the pregnancy fairytale, no matter what others say, we would still be all sunk in those movie-like moments, clicking pictures with our baby, Oh the complete family! Partying with the baby, blah blah...
The last few days seem endless, would seem like a mess, you will no more want the munchkin in your tummy. You would die to cuddle, kiss, and just eat that tiny little love of your life.
Like every other day came the red letter day (I would need a whole new write-up to explain that 12 hours of labor).
After hours of struggle when I actually really got to see him, "Hey that's our baby". I had no ups and downs in my hormones, No "OH! Wow I became a mom". I didn’t see angels and neither did I hear those soft instruments playing anywhere. All those feelings I had were like I pooped after a very heavy meal! I even tried acting to be filmie looking at my son hoping that somebody is capturing the moments. Never would you feel happy for not being able to sleep after 9 months of struggle, for your body not listening to you, for a jelly belly tummy you have, for not getting that fairytale life u dreamt, you will and you should get frustrated.
Now after 2 months of milestones, I know you won’t become a mother once the little one is in your hands. I thought not being overwhelmed at his birth made me a hopeless mom. I thought I don't love him. But NO! It’s not at all an instant feeling. It is something that grows with time. When he or she calms at your chest, when he sleeps peacefully and smiles while sleeping, when he wakes up crying and cooing, when he responds to you for the very first time- you evolve everyday- you evolve as a super human who can go n number of nights without sleep, a beautiful soul who will unconditionally love that little life, who would go selfless to make sure that tiny one is safe.
Mothers are wonder women who bring a whole new life into this world! How beautiful it is!
Yes Happy Motherhood.