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June 2014: It all started with a pink line. We had just arrived from Sonam’s wedding and the test kit announced that it was time for another celebration to come home. There was no water work involved with the news; we acted pretty normal towards it and thought of confirming before announcing to the families. So after the short visit to the clinic, a tiny dot on the screen made us call our parents. They were thrilled and asked us to be quiet about the subject – “Beta abhi kisi se kuch mat kehna” – a line which we heard repeatedly over the next few months.
We were yet to come in the phase of enjoying the new development which little one made me realize it would not be that easy. What came from November end and lasted till January was heavy piece of nausea. I couldn't stand food, the smell of it, the sight of it, even Dominos advertisement on television made me switch channels. Those three months were so appalling; I wish I had words to insinuate the ordeal. My mother along with my sister (who came down to Hyderabad to take care of me) along with tablets to curb nausea were my only rescue. Taking folic acid and wait at the doctor’s clinic became a routine and looking pale with dull eyes a fashion. Handling office work with frequent rush to the restrooms weren't easy, but something in me, rather someone in me, kept me on my toes and running.
By the start of month four in February, I was able to keep food inside of me without the help of a medicine. The respite was soon over as with February comes pollen grains in the air and the dust allergic me gets paranoid and affected to the hilt. Every year my homoeopathic drops make me sail this period with ease, but pregnancy comes with its own sweet list of do’s and don’ts. Doctors will recommend you antibiotics and anti-allergy as well, but the mother in me could not afford the risk and had to undergo almost 1.5 months of severe cold and cough. My in-laws visited us during that period and their home made mutton soup did help hold my watery nose and their minced meat kebabs relished my tasteless palate. With March came the first big scan and we saw the baby kicks in action which till that time were only felt by me. I expected to bawl like a baby, or at least have a lump in my throat, but all I could think looking at her/him was – “baby, you are making mommy work real hard, why you hate her so much?”
In April first week, I took a break and travelled to Calcutta for a week to see my parents. I loved each second of the trip as finally I was away from office and routine life. I had missed travelling and finally got a chance to make it. During the entire trip I fed myself white rasgullas and mishti dohi, slept and shopped. Being home in itself is the best thing one can gift oneself – be pampered and spoilt.
And then after a week’s fun, last two months, I have been busy working and I intend to do it till July first week, post which I start with my maternity leave. Baby is expected on July 22, but I'm sure this FIFA lover baby (one can’t imagine what kicks I feel each day) won’t wait that long to come and say ‘Hi’ to us!
My only strategy throughout pregnancy was to keep myself busy at work and home and not let myself think and panic about the future. People of this generation has a habit of reading excessive and not all that we read is encouraging, I have been through that and still doing so. Also, we hear so much from our family, friends and relatives about ‘what to do and how to do it’ that you need to filter and execute. As of now, I am free at mind and enjoying the temporary solace before my world turns upside down.
So far I have gained 10 kgs (started at 47 at month one and now I'm 57), my feet are a little swallow and getting up from bed is becoming challenging. I feel baby move all the time. It’s funny when at work I can see my kurta move as Junior Jawed moves in me. I know the toughest part is yet to come – birthing – but again, I'm not exerting myself thinking what will happen. I’ll stick to the plan of taking it as it comes.
Papa Jawed has been real supportive throughout the process. From packing my several protein diet tiffin for work to becoming my chauffeur, from motivating me when I got low to performing five namaz a day for his unborn child, he did every possible chore of a responsible husband and a caring father. Whenever I doubt myself as parent, I just look at my better half and it reassures my faith in us. Our marriage was not easy, yet somehow we survived 4.5 years, and now parenting a child whose parents come from different backgrounds/belief system will be tougher. Yet, we are set to embark a beautiful journey called parenthood. No one is ever prepared for it, but someone somewhere gives you the source of energy and persistence to walk on.
Now it’s all coming to a close, and a new expedition is about to begin. How to handle a kid? How to be a responsible parent? How to see the world from your child’s eye? Motherhood awaits me and I sure want to explore how the biggest role created by God, for a human, tastes like. Pray for me.