To be or not to be a daughter.... 
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|   Apr 21, 2017
To be or not to be a daughter.... 

A small little girl grew in a world which was full of wonders and happiness. People whom she lived with were her parents and brother-sister. She knew it was her own home. But as she grew, she was informed that she's mature enough to go to her own home. "Own home? Then what is this that I live in?" She went on asking but was not given a convincing reply. Just that her destiny is to be married and set her own home. 

How fair is the society to the girl? The place she was born and brought up and the memories of the home she cherishes is not hers. And the one she's told to be hers never accepts her as their own. Why? 

As a girl, I too had many different notions about marriage, a partner, a life in a new home. It was my mother's lessons day and night about the adjustments and sacrifices that I was expected to make to be able to be accepted by that family as theirs. I grew with all such teachings of how girls need to behave, how the girl should take up all the responsibilities and keep silent even in the worst of times. 

The innumerable questions used to bother me and I took a rebellious attitude. I decided to make my own decision about my partner. I refused to accept the person my family introduced me to while fortunately my family approved of the person I introduced them to. I had started to believe that the person I would choose will give me an opportunity to understand him and his family and vice versa. I will not have to make sacrifices if I knew the family. After my family accepted my choice and allowed me to marry him, I was on cloud 9. 

But I found my dreams shattering when I reached the so called 'my home' of 'my choice',  I was still a daughter in law and was to follow instructions. Though it came on the pretext that it was given to a daughter. I too felt it so in the initial period. However, with the passage of time, things seemed to be changing. Their instructions became their commands, their love and affection became their comparisons, their time to time comments were nothing but grievances. I, like a fool, hardly understood all that or may be as per my mother's teachings I kept overlooking. 

Indeed the lessons taught by my mother could not have been wasted, so I sacrificed my heart's desires and started to adjust in all situations. More than a decade I have been in that family but still I am not yet theirs. I have left no stones unturned to keep them happy but the question is still the same -  To be or not be a daughter? Will I ever be accepted as an entity-irrespective of being a daughter or a daughter in law? Despite all my efforts to make them, my parents,  and consider the house as mine, I am still an outsider. And if I look at my parents, I get the same feel that I might be an interference in their matters. Not that their love is less for me but I am often told, I must take care of my family. But my question still is - which is my family? The one that tells me that I belong to in-laws or the one that is yet to accept me as a daughter as I am their daughter in law? 

What is the destiny of the girl? Will she be accepted as own by someone? Will she ever get a house, a family or a parent of her own? 

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