Verbal Scar in Family Relationships
|   Jun 06, 2017
Verbal Scar in Family Relationships

Words have a tremendous impact in this world and they are an essential medium to carry out worldly interactions with ease. As long as the spoken language remains in normality, only then it is beneficial. If it goes above or below normality, then such speech becomes harmful to others and to the self.

Words have the power to make or break relationships

In India we have a concept of joint family and maintaining a compatible, loveable relation with every single person of the family is quite difficult. While maintaining this sometimes we say some hurting words to someone among the family members. We are not perfect and we occasionally react in ways we wish we could take back. Sometimes we say things that are hurtful and that we don’t truly mean. Other times, we don’t even realize the things we are saying to another person can be damaging. We aren’t aware of our passive-aggressive tone, or that we don’t need to bring up that one subject again.

Now here comes the perception how the person takes the incoming verbal gestures in a positive or in a totally negative note. I have personally observed that bitter hurting speech comes because we have a negative opinion of that person and that negativity may be imposed by some other person or group of people or is the result of backbiting on his/her mind. When the underlying opinions are washed and cleared, the speech improves and becomes better. Here I am talking about the verbal scar, we say tons of hurting words to each other but among these copious harsh words, there are some which remain in your heart and soul forever. These are actually considered as the permanent scar which cannot be erased at any cost. People who say so have the tendency to that again and again and by forgiving such type of people every time is not possible for the person who got hurt. There are some verbal scars which can’t be forgotten or forgiven at the cost of individuals self-respect. Now some people consider this as Ego but I personally believe it to be my Self-respect. And such type of situations is actually being faced by every single person in his / her life. If such situations arise then we may think that not saying anything or suppressing our speech is a good idea, but that is not a solution in some cases. It is the same as compressing a spring, when the pressure that is built is released it can create an explosion. Instead, we should try to reach a cordial solution. At the same time keep the inner intent that you do not want to hurt anybody with your words. It’s a saying that Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me.” This is a lie. What we say matters. The unkind things we communicate can spoil the best of relationships; even with the deepest of regrets…what lingers is a stain of hurt that may fade but will never truly go away. The wounding words we say are like feathers released in a harsh wind, once said; we will never get them back.

That is why there is saying by कबीर

ऐसी वाणी बोलिए, मन का आपा खोय |

औरन को शीतल करे, आपहु शीतल होय ||

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