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I read a lot of articles and blogs which talk about women changing their surname after getting married. I have been thinking of this every day. They feel they lost their identity. Is it actually a question of their identity or is it purely a promotion of feminism?
For me, Changing my surname doesn’t take away my identity. I use my new surname with pride. I have been married for almost 7 years now.
Like every other married woman, I have also experienced the feeling of being married to a man. Infact, to his family too. There are happy days and there are those unhappy and bad days too. I would expect some things from them and so would they from me. Sometimes we able to meet some expectations and sometimes we fail to do so.
It takes a while for a girl to gain acceptance into another family. This is normal. There may be unfortunate cases where it takes longer than usual. But I am not writing about the struggles of a married woman. This is about being a part of the new family and happily accepting it as a part of your identity. When I got married, 'I CHOSE' to take up my husband’s surname. Nobody had forced that on me. I was not ever asked to give up my maiden name. I chose to take up his surname as a part of my identity. It did not affect me or my existence for even a microsecond. I am recognized for my work at office, for my studies at school and for my behaviour among my friends.
Everywhere I went, I was still the same. I was single earlier and I am married now. That was the only thing which had changed about me. That too, on just the documents. Neither my sindhoor nor my mangalsootra changed any bit of my identity. To me, my identity is not just a name or a surname. It is about being ‘Myself’. When I changed my surname, it made me feel that I belonged to my new family. I would not be the odd one out of my family when all our names were written on our family tree. I take it as a common thread which binds me with my husband. Whether people identify him with my first name or me with his last name, it really doesn’t matter.
My husband’s surname is my pride and I carry it with dignity. It makes me feel that I am capable of carrying two family names, both with equal pride and dignity.
I have seen so many people who have lost their identity and they made their new different identity. In those cases, their quality was there not their surnames because of which they were able to make their identity. Indira Gandhi has too adopted his husband Firoz Gandhi's surname. If she would follow her maiden's name Indira Nehru would it affect to her fame? Dear readers cant we accept people with their qualities rather than their surnames?
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