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Here's a list of a few things I wish I knew before delivery to be prepared when they rammed me in the face. At the end of the day, it's all trial and error for first time moms - this list is tried and errored by me in the last month.
•The baby will cry no matter how good a mother you are.
•Don't run to your baby and take her from the person who's trying to soothe her the second you hear a cry.
•When the baby cries, she's not necessarily hungry. (It's the easiest to feed a howling infant, that might even temporarily work. But there are other factors (colic, sleepy, tired, temperature of the room, burp, diaper change, etc) that could be the cause of the cries.)
•Many infants are colic and have acid reflux. That doesn't necessarily mean that you've eaten something that didn't suit her. Her delicate system will take time in getting used to the foods of our planet.
•The more liberal and flexible you are, the happier you and the baby will be atleast in the initial weeks. Don't even attempt to set a schedule in the first month.
•Not everyone has 'buri nazar.'
•Listen to everyone's advice; but do what you please and what your gut tells you.
•Just because something has been followed for generations doesn't make it the right thing to do. If it doesn't make sense to you, question it's existence. (Eg: I was asked not to wash my hair after delivery. Reason? I could catch a cold which would lead to my child catching a cold. When this came into existence (probably during the dinosaur era,) did they have hair dryers ? I think not!)
•Most experienced maids and jhapas will keep offering old fashioned advice that the doctors are strongly against. Do what suits your child best.
•Arrange for a maid or jhappa before hand. Good ones are a rare find. (There are agencies and groups on Facebook that are helpful if you don't know where to start looking for one.)
•Post natal depression is a b*tch. No matter how happy your pregnancy was, there are still chances of your hormones affecting your moods after a few days. (I had the happiest pregnancy! It was all rainbows and unicorns but after delivery, I was drowning in post natal depression and would cry without a reason while being aware that I was crying without a reason!!)
•Breast feeding is not as easy as people make it sound. Sore, cracked, bleeding nipples are temporary. It's not necessary that you'll lactate immediately. It's normal! By the second-third week the milk will come in. By then the. Jokes will also heal. (My mother was obsessed with why my milk was not coming in by the first week. Now, in the fourth week, I need to wear pads to prevent staining my clothes. Lanolin nipple cream was my saviour for cracked and bleeding nipples.)
•Contrary to the myth, top feed (formula) is not at all harmful and has similar nutrients as breast milk. It's your saviour if your milk comes in a little late.)
Hopefully these points will be helpful for new moms and help avoid the mistakes I made. All the best and lots of love !!