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Let me start by saying that I love my family to pieces. But my mother can be a smother (smothering mother). While living at home for the first few months after the baby seemed rosy and peachy during the pregnancy, actually moving back in was another story.
My mother is a text book mom. She will go to any length to ensure that I eat all the foods that new mothers eat to increase the milk supply, eliminate back pain, etc. All this information is a collection of recepies offered by vela relatives and family friends who think it mandatory to offer their input or else the world will end.
That's when the issues started. I don't have a sweet tooth and most of the post pregnancy foods are sweet, it was impossible for me to eat what she offered all the time. Before the baby, my meals were basic: breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner. Suddenly I was expected to eat every hour and drink milk and liquids that were sufficient for a house of 6. I was anyway struggling with frequent feeding, sore nipples and sleepless nights ; this was the last straw. It actually got to a point where I stopped mentioning that I was hungry so that my mother didn't have a chance to offer the sugar, jaggery and ghee laden food. The chakas, ladoos and coconutty items were too much to handle. After a 2 week battle, we have now agreed at a mid point where I eat selected foods that may lead to diabetes, a few times a day.
To all the mothers and mother in laws : The new Mom is facing battles anyway. Please make it easy for her by being flexible and allowing her to breathe instead of doing things the way that you think they're 'supposed' to be done. The lateral damage will be graver than you think.