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Yes, my husband and I differ in many ways.
Being a psychology student, I can understand that all individuals possess certain personality traits and these traits are different from individual to individual. An example of a trait is extraversion–introversion. I love to talk a lot, that is, I am talkative and thus belong to the extraversion category while my husband is quiet and calm and hence falls into the introversion category. This is just one example for you to guess how extreme our characteristics are as a husband and a wife. Although these are about two traits of being extraversion or introversion, but being a wife, these theories go for a toss and explanations go in vain – I just go mad when I see him speaking 3 words in 30 long minutes.
I try to find answers to my own formed questions like how could a person speak so less? Is he trying to avoid my question? Doesn’t he really have the answer? Is he pretending not to listen to my concerns?... and the list goes on. If you start counting the unmatched characteristics between my husband and me, the list will be endless. When two different people with different personalities live under the same roof, conflicts are bound to happen. This is absolutely normal and we (my husband and I) are no exception to it.
We used to have different opinions on many issues – we still have. We had disagreement on many matters – we still have. We had clashes on many issues – we still have. But what has changed after our childbirth is how we handle conflicts. We have realized that not every disagreement needs to be an argument. We used to live like strangers for 2–3 days when conflicts got ugly. But today, we have realized that we need to work as a team for the well-being and happiness of our little child.
Being new parents, we both understand that we lack experience in handling child issues alone; we both are aware of fact we need each other’s support and consent to take any decision related to our baby; we both know that only our joint effort can bring happiness to our child’s life. When people say that teamwork always divides the work and lead to success, they are right and we have already experienced it in our short duration of parenting.
It was the period when my baby used to sleep during the day time only to remain awake the whole night. It was actually a very hectic and tough phase for both of us. Those mornings were usually started with fights and arguments. We soon realized that things needed to be changed to manage the situation. We started working on our problems. We knew each other’s strengths and weakness very well – it is said a team can work effectively, if team members know each other very well.
I usually go to bed quite late and my hubby is an early riser. So, we used our strengths to solve the problem. We decided to divide our time into two slots – I used to remain awake for the first four hours in night and gave company to my little one. The second half was handled by my partner. The situation got better and gradually the feared phase was over. As a team we successfully handled the problem. A year has passed and we are emerging out as a better team day by day.