Parenting blues
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|   Feb 23, 2016
Parenting blues
"Your  children  are  not  your  children.
They  are  the  sons  and  daughters  of  Life's  longing  for  itself.
They  come  through  you  but  not  from  you,
And  though  they  are  with  you,  yet  they  belong  not  to  you.

You  may  give  them  love  but  not  your  thoughts.
For  they  have  their  own  thoughts.  You  may  house  their  bodies  but  not  their  souls,
For  their  souls  dwell  in  the  house  of  tomorrow,  which  you  cannot  visit,  not  even  in  your  dreams.
You  may  strive  to  be  like  them,  but  seek  not  to  make  them  like  you.
For  life  goes  not  backward  nor  tarries  with  yesterday.
You  are  the  bows  from  which  your  children  as  living  arrows  are  sent  forth."

                                                                 -Khalil Gibran
Children  are  like  delicate  plants,  which  need  proper  care,  a bit  of  shade,  sprinkling  of  water  and  lots  of  sunshine  with  essential  nutrients  for  their  right  development  and  growth.
A  mix  of  all  these  things  in  right  proportion  will  not  only  give  us healthy kids  but  also  well-behaved children  and  adults  of  tomorrow.
The  reins  are  to  be  held  loosely,  as  well  as  a  bit  of  controlling  at  every  stage.They  have  to  be  handled  with  care  and  pruned  regularly,  till  the  stage  when  they  should  be  left  to  grow  on  their  own.  Yes  it  is important,  that  apart  from  healthy  children,  we  also  have  better  citizens  of  tomorrow.
Often  we  have  heard  people  complaining  about  others  kids  as  spoilt  children,  when  the  kids  resort  to  all  sort  of  tactics  and  causing  embarrassment  to  the  parents  publicly.
But!!  how  can  be  children  good  or  bad?!!!Well  children  become  what  we  make  them.
There  are  some  over-indulgent  parents,  'the fussers',  Who  worry  every  now  and  then, an  instructional  set  is  always  handy  with  them, for  example:  "look  out  you  will  fall",  'don't  touch  this  or  that',  'oh  he/she  does  not  eat  this",    etc etc.
Then  there  is  set  of  'easy-going'  parents,  ' the  cool  ones'  who  do not  believe  in  hampering  the  growth  of  their  children  by  do's  or  don'ts.  After  all  they  truly  believe  that  children  are  not  to  be  contradicted  for  it  might  mar  their  personalities,  as  they  may  grow  up  with  complexes,  as  a  result  these  children  do  coolest  stuff  at  all  the  wrong  places  and  grab  attention  for  all   the  wrong  reasons  and  the  cool  parents  can  be  seen  soaking  the  Sun  or  involved  in  lengthy  conversations  or  chatting  around  on  the  mobile  with  friends,  giving  their  darling  children  all   the' me  time'.  Yes  they  turn  Nelson's  eye  to  what  their  offspring  are  up to.  Meanwhile  the  modern  day  Hanuman  and  Army  of  monkeys  would  have  wreaked  havoc,  by  uprooting  plants  and  turning  the  world  of  the  host  Topsy-turvy.
The  worry lines  on  the  forehead  of  the  hosts  is  completely  ignored  by  such  kind  of  parents,  as  love  is  blind  for  them  and  'apple  of  their  eyes'  can  cause  no  harm.
On  the  other  hand,  the  'over-enthusiastic  parents'  leave  no  stone unturned  to  bring  centre-stage  the  day  to  day  activities  of  their  kids.  Even  when  the  kid  is  seen  throwing  his/her  weight  and  dominating  other  kids  or  hitting  them,  the  parents  of  the  bully  take  pride  as  heart  of  hearts  they  believe  that    their  kid  will  lead  the  pack  and  wont  be  a  mere  follower  or  spectator.  The  favorite  conversation  of  such  parents  is  about  their  children  all  the  time  and  nothing  else.
Other  category  of  parents  is  the  one  which  believes  that  their  kids  are  the  most  docile  and  sober  lot,  but  all  the  other  children  are  monsters  ganged  up  against  their  little  baby.  Such  parents  get  involved  in  childish  battles  and  criticising  other  children.
While,  the  other  parents  are  on  the  receiving  end  listening  in  a  state  of  shock.
There  is  also  a  category  of  parents  called  the  'lost  ones'  ,   who  have  exactly  no  clue  or  idea  about    handling  their  kids.  The  moment,  the  child  throws  tantrums,  the  parents  run  here  and  there  with  forlorn  looks,  they  hardly  have  any  idea  how  to  handle  the  child. On  single  scream  of  the  child,  the  parents  are  ready  to  pluck  moon  and  stars,  so  that  the  child  remains  quiet.
Last but not the least, there is also a category of parents with 'low self esteem '.This category is the one who believes   least in their kids,  any thing done wrong, can only be done by their children. Even before the culprit is held they confess at their child's fault.
Whether  a  Boy  or  Girl,  matters  of  etiquettes  need  to  be  taught  by  parents  in  right  measure.  Girls  cannot  be  asked  to  behave  prim  and  proper  and  boys  be  left  to  loiter  around,  as  they  are  rough  and  tough.
To  produce  well-behaved  children  is  not  just  the  duty  of  the  school,  rather  we  as  parents  are  more  responsible  for  it.  The  kind  of  company  children  have  does  reflects  on  their  personality,  but  at  the  end  of  the  day,  'good'  or  'bad'  the  onus  only  lies  on  the  upbringing  of  the  parents. The  child  imbibes,  what  a  parent  imparts  in  the  form  of  day  to  day  teaching  to  the  child.  There  is  nothing  wrong  in  looking  after  the  needs  of  your  child  but  constantly  checking  on  them,  rectifying  their  mistakes  in  public,  or  over-pampering  them,  does  hamper  their  confidence  and  on  the  other  hand  letting  them  astray  will  make  them  more  or  less  rebellious.  
So  a  right  mix  of  care,  caress  and  confidence  in  your  child  from  your  side  are the  most  vital  and essential  components  for  his/her  growth.

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