Click here for shortcuts to regional language blogs and city-specific events.
Yes, it takes two to raise happy , independent kids, because it is two , who bring a child into this world.
But the part of a mother is taken to be a natural phenomenon and the duty of a father raising a child besides financial aspects is taken as something superficial only.
There is lot of disparity set in our society.
Once my sister in law was shocked seeing my husband taking my three year old to washroom and washing her potty, her reaction was shocking , as her husband would have never done so, as per her.
Or for that matter , my husband giving oil massage and bath to my little one during weekends ,was a major shock factor for my inlaws, but my husband loves pampering his darling daughter, which is but natural.
Happy parents make happy children, the onus cannot be only on one parent of rearing and raising the child , while the other is excused on the basis of earning bread and butter, and ignoring the rest.
Our society is abundant with contraries .
In some societies , the birth of the first child becomes the responsibility of the mother's side, whereas the father and his family take a back seat.
From paying hospital bills to performing Pooja on the eleventh day becomes the duty of maternal grandparents .
Independent women is one thing, but the whole journey of childbirth , from first three trimesters to looking after a child is the responsibility of two people involved .
In many countries , including in some departments of our country, maternity leave and paternity leave is granted to working parents. I have been fortunate to have my father shouldering equal responsibility with my mother in raising us , without any discrepancies and without any fuss.
Financially or emotionally, his backing has always been there.
As a daughter I share my genetics with him , still I have taken him for granted, so many times, even if I scold him or argue with him , he never gets upsets, but rather cheers me up, which makes me guilty so very many times. But this man loves me still , from the core of his heart, without any gains or bargains , so does my mother, but being a man , he has always been labelled as less emotional or being less expressive.
Loving fathers raise responsible children, and caring husbands make happy families . And so is my father , he is special to me, for not just being a good father but for also being always there for me.
Well he is the first man in my life, the one who has put his sweat and blood on my education,health and care, which every father does, still ,doesn't it makes them special.
Well many of us would say and reason by saying that it is their duty, but don't we undervalue them. Mothers may express themselves , but moment a father does so, it becomes his weakness . His responsibility towards us becomes his duty, and so very many times we take our Papa for granted , without expressing our gratitude towards them.
Papa, has taken my tantrums , which no other man would ,not even my husband . He loves me unconditionally, despite of knowing that my priorities have changed, I may ignore him at times , taking care of my husband and children ,but whenever I get back to him for help , he is ever ready with enthusiasm. He along with my mother, has contributed equally in my life, and he still does , but the credit has always been given to my mother. Financially or emotionally, his backing is always there. I feel so selfish at times, but still he loves me selflessly.
Moment I call up my parents, and Papa picks up the phone , the first thing I ask him is "where is mama", without even realising , that may be he is also wanting to say or hear something.
When i visit my parents , till late nights I sit with mama, over tea-coffee sessions, and ignoring him so very many times. He knows his kids are home, want to spend time with their mother, talk to her, but what about him.
How eagerly he cooks non-vegertarian food for us, but still my mother takes the cake , and gets appreciated most of the times.
Looking backwards , i still remember, With equal zeal , like my mother, he took me to my first day of school, but still when I got back from my school , it was my mother who got the hug.
As a kid , I have always thought that he is the strongest, the He-man, cannot get tired or feel exhausted, ever ready to take me for rides and games.
How can i still forget, that while travelling by bus, train or aeroplane, as my mother took care of me and my little brother, and my father ran looking for eatables, ticket charts, as well as taking care of the luggage, we as kids only wanted our mother by our side, without even realising the importance of dad's running around and arranging for things , for us. We still do so, poor Papa!
Still remember, how dad took me for my tuition classes, more then me ,he was worried for my board exams. How me and my mom would put the bundle of worries and tensions on him , to solve them and would ourselves be at ease. He has been and still is, like solid rock to rely on.
How during my wedding shopping , he would wait for hours outside the shops , as me my mother were busy purchasing things for my D-day.
Even after my marriage and having kids, his responsibilities have not changed , but rather increased , as he loves taking my kids for morning walks , stories sessions and teaching them gardening as well. But still it is my mother , who hogs the limelight of being a superb Nani, and Papa is content with the tag of being the second best, despite his whole hearted endeavour.
How easily he transforms from an angry man to a cool dad and grand dad, seeing his kids happy and satisfied.
Yes he is the first man in my life, who loves me the most without expecting anything in return. A man who can still run from pillar to post for me. There is only one mother and same goes for the father. His work may keep him occupied, but still his love is no less , than a mother. Still a father's love is underrated , because he does things differently. As I read somewhere, we appreciate and remember the crispy dosa we ate , but we forget the sacrifice of the burning stone underneath.
Mothers are responsible for our upbringing from childhood to adulthood, but fathers are expected to bear our responsibilities and expenses, till we settle down.
If mothers are expected to love her kids, fathers are expected to control them, this equation of loving and controlling , at times, turns the things in mother's favour and poor dads bear the brunt of being a daddy.
But Papa is Papa, the first man in a child's life, and trust me , the only man who invests in you , without expecting any returns. Love you Pa😊