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No one is born as a mother. It is also true that we are not the first generation of parents.. Many generations have come and gone and not everyone did a course on parenting. But we must also accept that situation and demands have changed. The support system has changed, attitudes have changed and not to forget the whole lifestyle itself has changed. We see more of individual couples starting their life with the newborn really soon. Trust me, most of them have absolutely no clue of what is going hit them. Simply because its hard to anticipate what is coming up.
If we are not people who thinks that the kid would grow up somehow, we need to be prepared. The first five years of a childs life is the most crucial. We might as well invest some work into it than regret later. For that we need to be prepared . Prepared means actually read and study.. and its not wrong to be search about parenting and bring them up.. We have burnt our night oil for 10th standard exam.. and why not in here which is totally irreversible.
It is a serious business. and we have to be prepared. I came across few books that helped me a lot. and few things i learnt..:
1. Moms are important.. You need to be at peace, including your emotional sphere. Dont lead the judging world get to you. As simple as it is said, it is not easy. Especially because we have no clue on what is coming up
2. The child is your responsibility.. Which means, outsource everything except the primary responsibilty of bringing her up.
3. Children are trainable from 6 weeks.. I have seen most of the time this is ignored. You cna make them part of the household as young as 6 weeks. Read to them, talk to them and play with them
4.They dont cry for no reason. They are not idiots. Though their needs are only 4.. their only way of communicating is crying. Respect that. and till 6 months dont try to discipline by letting them cry. The only person they know in this world is their mom.. Be there for them. it is only gonna make them into a confident, sensitive human. you wont regret it
5. Avoid visitors for at least first 6 weeks. or at least till you want to entertain them..
6. POSTPARTUM is real.. and you have to take it easy. Moms know that you are important. Even if people fails to acknowledge it , try to get some rest and time for yourself. Simply because , you need to stay sane to help the child. Being out of mind can be risky for the child.
7. There are few must have medicines.. keep a stock with us always.. like colic Aid, colpep, and sinarest. THey are for colic, fever/body pain and ear infection.
8. its okie to be frustrated. Every one does.. You must leave the baby with the father for a while.
9. FATHERS - you have equal role to play.. (That's my next write up) - get them involved from pregnancy
In short, Mom's its ok to be sad, upset and not-so-in love with the baby. You are also new to this world. You have your own style ... and its your child.... believe in them, believe in yourself.
its a challenge and its worth a try..
Will stop for now and continue in my next write up...