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"Expectations", one word that is dreaded by one and all. If we talk about Indian wedding, this expectation starts from the day when both the families plan to meet, just to see each other- a typical Family meet in an Arrange Marriage. If everything goes well, then during the wedding time, guy's family will have certain expectations from the girl's family. If we talk about the range of this expectation then its huge..can range from a lavish Baraat welcome to a Bidaai in a brand new four wheeler. Ahan!! not to forget, gifts for each and every member of the guy's family as a token of love from girl's family.
Well, we think that this word is restricted till the time marriage takes place but to our surprise..NO!! A girl when enters her new house i.e. her in-law's place, this particular word can either create or destroy the foundation of her new life. In Indian society, a bahu is expected to get up early in the morning, do puja, enter kitchen and start preparing meals for the family. If she doesn't do so, she'll be judged in thousands of parameters in thousands ways by different guests who have come for the wedding. Well these are all common things which is expected from a newly-wed Indian Bahu.
That particular incident which triggered me to write this blog is that yesterday while chit chatting with some of the aunties in my apartment, I got to know about one MIL who expects her DIL to bridge the gap between her different family members. Now this is something which is CRAZY!! This is an example of Expectation of a different LEVEL. Ok now moving on, she (that aunty) says that she was expecting her DIL to bring some changes in her son so that he becomes a more responsible, affectionate and caring son/brother. How can one mother who raised her son with particular values, morals etc. expect a newly-wed girl to bring about these kind of changes in her son which she is expecting. The newly wed girl struggles in her own way in getting acclimatized with the culture of her new family, building relations, knowing each member of the family. A rational person like me gave her (that aunty) input by saying that - You can't change your son rather were not able to mould him the way you want him to be, after giving him birth, raising him and living with him for thirty years, how can you expect a poor soul(her bahu-imagine the level of expectations she is facing) to bring about a change which you EXPECT her to do. Her reply to this was “ladkiyo ka kaam hai parivaar ko jodey rakhna.” I said- “Tutey hue parivaar ko ladkiya jor sakti hai, then why you are EXPECTING only from your bahu. I am sure you would be having other girls in your family as well, say your daughters/other female relatives, why don’t you expect your daughter to do the needful.”
Her reply- “Silence”
I laughed…and thought that this planet would have been a better place to live in if people STOP EXPECTING and do whatever they wish to do on their own rather than expecting someone else to do it for them.