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There used to be a time when I would do stuff without a care . Like squandering money on something that I fancied or eating out at my favourite place without having to
Worry about weight issues....life was one smooth ride until ....I became a ...well...MOMMY!!
Oh...no...no...I do not regret mommyhood at all. ..in fact that is what I craved for all my life...to be an ideal mother to two ideal kids :-)
Sounds too textbookish right?
And then started the ever reeling sojourn of guilt...guilt of being at work and leaving my baby to someone else' care, guilt of taking sometime off for myself, guilt of romancing my hubby, guilt of not giving him a sibling...phew!!Finally I thought I would absolve myself of guilt and quit my job to become a SAHM, had another beautiful baby and just so when I had assumed that my tryst with guilt was over when...
I started to feel guilty when I saw my peers having a career ,I started to feel guilty when my hubby waxed eloquence over a female colleague , felt guilty for having added postpartum weight and most of all...felt guilty for ALWAYS feeling guilty!!
And then it dawned on me...I was feeling perpetually guilty because I wasn't completely relishing what I had and was looking for things that I did not. Like they say, grass is greener on the other side. So I slowly started to let go...I don't have a real career...so what? I am around for my kids when they need me; I make time for myself. So what? I am also a human. I spend my time constructively by my standards, I have started to love what I do however trivial it may seem and I have realised that wallowing in self pity is the worst thing that a person could do to herself.I have learnt to be nearly content...and why should there be any guilt???
I am after all, doing my best!!